During the 1990s, animated sitcom, The Simpsons, produced some of the best episodes of television. These episodes were packed with great characters and plenty of sharp sight gags, and viewers adored what was on offer.
Back then, The Simpsons was responsible for some weekly hilarity and episodes such as Homer Badman made the show a ratings winner. Homer Badman was produced during the ‘golden era’ of the show, when fans would regularly quote or reference The Simpsons.
And all these years later, Homer Badman remains a favourite instalment of The Simpsons. Fans look back on this episode fondly, and still find reasons to utter quotes from this little slice of Simpsons magic.
So, with this in mind, I’m serving up the best quotes from Homer Badman, to remind you why it is a fan-favourite episode. If you’ve not watched it in a while, then simply check out the lines below for a little memory jolt.
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Best quotes from The Simpsons: Homer Badman
Anchorman – “Simpson scandal update: Homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he believes gives him sexual powers!”
Homer – “HEY! That’s a half-truth!”
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Homer – “So, a graduate student, huh? How come they can send a man to the moon but can’t make my shoes smell good?”
Ashley Grant – “I’m sorry?”
Homer – “Ah, nobody’s blamin’ you.”
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Kent Brockman – (Voicing-over an aerial shot of the Simpsons’ home, during a news broadcast) “This is hour 57 of our live, round-the-clock coverage outside the Simpson estate. Remember, by the way, to tune in at eight o’clock for highlights of today’s vigil, including when the garbage man came, and when Marge Simpson put the cat out… possibly because it was harassed, we don’t know.”
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(Homer’s TV interview)
Homer – “Somebody had to take the babysitter home. Then I noticed she was sitting on…”
(Edit)
Homer – “Her…”
(Edit)
Homer – “Sweet can.”
(Edit)
Homer – “I grab…”
(Edit)
Homer – “Her…”
(Edit)
Homer – “Sweet can.”
(Edit)
Homer – “Oh, just thinking about…”
(Edit)
Homer – “Her…”
(Edit)
Homer – “Can. I just wish I had…”
(Edit)
Homer – “Her sweet, sweet, s-s-sweet can.”
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Kent Brockman – (Voicing over a frontal shot of the Simpsons’ home, during a news broadcast) “Of course, there’s no way to see into the Simpson home without some kind of infrared heat-sensitive camera. So, let’s turn it on!”
Kent Brockman – “Now, this technology is new to me, but I’m pretty sure that’s Homer Simpson in the oven, rotating slowly.”
(Camera zooms in for a clear shot of the turkey)
Kent Brockman – “His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees – he’s literally stewing in his own juices.”
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Ashley Grant – “You grabbed me in the car!”
Homer – (Thinks for a moment) “Oh that, No I was just grabbing the gummi Venus de Milo that got stuck to your pants.”
Woman – “Yeah right, that’s the oldest excuse in the book!”
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Homer – (Driving Ashley home) “Hey could you grab the wheel for a second? I have to scratch myself in two places at once.”
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Groundskeeper Willie – “My hobby is secretly videotaping couples in cars. I didn’t come forward, because in this country, it makes you look like a pervert. But every single Scottish person does it!”
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Kent Brockman – (Rounding out a news story on Homer’s sexual harassment scandal) “Now, here are some results from our phone-in poll: 95% of people believe Homer Simpson is guilty. Of course, this is just a television poll which is not legally binding. Unless proposition 304 passes, and we all pray it will.”
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Marge – “Homer, hasn’t this experience taught you that you can’t believe everything you hear?”
Homer – “Marge, my friend, I haven’t learned a thing.”
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Bart – “So, you’re one of those “don’t-call-me-a-chick” chicks?”
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Announcer – “And now we return to “Fox Night at the Movies”: “Homer S.: Portrait of an Ass-Grabber”, starring Dennis Franz.”
Homer Simpson – “Ooh, “portrait”! Sounds classy. Doesn’t it?”
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Bart – “Why would anybody want to touch a girl’s butt? That’s where cooties come from!”
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Homer – “Hello. I am Homer Simpson. Or as some of you wags have dubbed me, Father Goose.”
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Homer – “They’re ruining my whole life. Marge, please, this is where I need you the most: I’m counting on you do to something or say something to make it all better. OK… go!”
Marge – “Homer…”
Homer – “Uh huh?”
Marge – “I already talked to the indignation coordinator out on the lawn today. I told her you were a decent man, but she wouldn’t listen. Besides standing by you and supporting you, there isn’t any more I can do.”
Homer – “You mean… I’m on my own? I’ve never been on my own! Oh no… on own… on own! I need help… oh, God, help me. HELP ME, GOD!”
(Phone rings, Homer answers it very slowly)
Homer – “Yello?”
Godfrey Jones – “Hello, Homer. This is God… frey Jones from the TV magazine show “Rock Bottom”. We’re aware of your problems, and, Mr. Simpson… we want to help.”
Homer – “Mmm. I saw that report you did on Sasquatch. It was fair and even-handed. I’ll do it!”
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Angry Mob – “Two! Four! Six! Eight! Homer’s crime was very great!”
(Pause)
Angry Mob – “”Great” meaning “large” or “immense”, We use it in the pejorative sense!”
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And finally…
Homer – “Lisa, do I have my pants on?”
Lisa – “Yes.”
Homer – “Perfect.”
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Thank you for stopping by It’s A Stampede! to read this post about the best Simpsons quotes. For more posts, be sure to check out the recommended reads below.
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