In 1992, Whoopi Goldberg slipped on robes and a habit for the musical comedy, Sister Act. The movie followed the story of Las Vegas singer, Delores Van Cartier, who witnesses a murder and is taken into witness protection at a convent.

Throughout the course of the movie, Delores – who takes on the identity of a nun called Sister Mary Clarence – must do her best to stay undercover. To help do this, and to help pass the time, she teaches her fellow nuns how to sing… with hilarious consequences.

When it made its debut, Sister Act was met by an extremely positive response from both critics and audiences alike, and all these years on the film still remains a firm favourite. Sister Act fans return time and time again for the music, the comedy, and also the film’s great dialogue.

In this post, I am taking a look at this dialogue, via the best quotes from both Sister Act and its sequel, Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993). Below you will find a selection of great lines from across the film series, to have you rejoicing at these excellent movies!

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The best Sister Act movie quotes

Image: ©Buena Vista Pictures

Reverend Mother – “There are 3 vows every nun must accept: The vow of poverty.”

Delores – “Mmm.”

Reverend Mother – “The vow of obedience.”

Delores – “Mm-Hmm.”

Reverend Mother – “And the vow of chastity.”

Delores – “I am outta here with that.”

Sister Act (1992)

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Delores – “What am I gonna do here? I’m gonna go crazy! There’s nothing but a lot of white women dressed as nuns! What am I gonna do here?”

Eddie – “Pray.”

Sister Act (1992)

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Sister Mary Clarence – “My name is Sister Mary Clarence and I am…”

Frankie – “Yo mama!”

Sister Mary Clarence – “No, sir, let’s talk about your mama. Who’s so dumb she got hit by a parked car!”

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)

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Sister Mary Robert – “I’m so nervous. What if I forget the words?”

Sister Mary Clarence – “You’re gonna go straight to hell.”

Sister Act (1992)

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Image: ©Buena Vista Pictures

Delores – “Bless us, oh Lord, for these Thy gifts which we are about to receive. And yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of no food, I will fear no hunger. We want you to give us this day, our daily bread. And to the republic for which it stands, and by the power invested in me, I pronounce us ready to eat. Amen.”

Sister Act (1992)

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Reverend Mother – “Girl groups? Boogie-woogie on the piano? What were you thinking?”

Delores – “I was thinkin’ more like Vegas, y’know, get some butts in the seats.”

Reverend Mother – “And what next? Popcorn? Curtain calls? This is not a theatre or a casino.”

Delores – “Yeah, but that’s the problem. See, people like going to theaters, and they like going to casinos, but they don’t like coming to church. Why? Because it’s a drag. But we could change all that, see? We could pack this joint.”

Reverend Mother – “Through blasphemy? You have corrupted the entire choir!”

Sister Act (1992)

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Sister Mary Clarence – “Hey, hey – excuse me! It is NOT Maria’s fault, that she does not know that Mary had a lamb. It is not – and I say this to you – it is *not* Maria’s fault. Because maybe, MAYBE where Maria came from, Mary had a dog! Or a lil kitty cat! Or a little bald-headed brother named Bart! It is NOT her fault and we’re not going to tell her it is, are we? No, we are not!”

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)

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Willy – “What is she doin’?”

Joey – “Oh, my God. She’s prayin’.”

Delores – “Lord, I want you to forgive Willy and Joey, because they know not what they do. They’re only doin’ what Vince told ’em to do, because Vince is too chicken to do it himself! So he’s called upon these 2 men to take care of his business! So, I want you to forgive them, Lord. Espectum, espertum, cacoomb, toutu, eplubium. Amen!”

Willy, Joey – “Amen.”

Sister Act (1992)

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Image: ©Buena Vista Pictures

Dolores – “Don’t worry, we will always be together.”

Mary Lazarus – “That’s what Diana Ross said.”

Sister Act (1992)

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Sister Mary Clarence – “If you wake up in the morning, and you can’t think anything but singing, then you should be a singer, girl.”

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)

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Mother Superior – “Go with God, Crispy.”

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)

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Delores – (After putting on the habit) “Oh, no! No, no, no! I can’t do this. I’m sorry. This is fine for covering a little bulge, but now I’ve got holster hips!”

Reverend Mother – “People wish to kill you. Anyone who’s met you I imagine. A disguise is necessary to protect us all. While you are here, you will conduct yourself as a nun. Only I will know who and what you truly are. You will draw no attention to yourself whatsoever.”

Delores – “But look at me! I’m a nun! I’m a – I’m a penguin!”

Reverend Mother – “As from now and until you leave, you are Sister Mary Clarence.”

Sister Act (1992)

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Sondra – “You can’t answer any questions about… sex.”

Sister Mary Patrick – “Oh, don’t be so sure. You don’t have to bite the donut to know it’s sweet.”

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)

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Image: ©Buena Vista Pictures

Sister Mary Lazarus – “This is a sin, it’s a wicked indulgence. Didn’t they have any butter pecan?”

Sister Act (1992)

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Monsignor O’Hara – “You took a vow of hospitality for all in need.”

Reverend Mother – “I lied.”

Sister Act (1992)

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Sister Mary Clarence – “So, because you think they sang it better you all are ready to leave ’cause you got scared? Aw yea, nah, that’s your MO. See that’s how you operate: Ooo, something new, better run away! Forget about all the people who busted their butt to get you here ’cause they believed in you. Let me remind you of something, ok: if you wanna go somewhere and you wanna be somebody, you better wake up and pay attention. Because if every time something scary comes up you decide to run, y’all gonna be running for the rest of your lives.”

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)

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Mother Superior – “You are the perfect example of a how a sow’s ear can be turned into a silk purse.”

Sister Mary Clarence – “Hmm. Well, I probably wouldn’t put it quite like that.”

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)

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Father Ignatius – “Sursum corda.”

Sister Mary Clarence – “Wait a minute, what was that?”

Father Ignatius – “It’s Latin. It means “lift up your heart”.”

Sister Mary Clarence – “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you said “insert some quarters.”

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)

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Sister Mary Clarence – “You lied to me and you’re gonna go to hell.”

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)
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Delores – “ALMA! Check your battery.”

Sister Act (1992)

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Mr. Crisp – “Sister Mary Fake!”

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)

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Sister Mary Patrick – “Why would anyone kidnap a nun?”

Sister Mary Lazarus – “Were they Catholics?”

Sister Act (1992)

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Mr. Crisp – “Teach them how to play… soccer.”

Father Maurice – “We haven’t got the balls for that.”

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)

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Image: ©Buena Vista Pictures

Sister Mary Clarence – “I got the flow, you all gotta go, so pick up your bags so we can go, ho-ho! Uh-huh, ow, ow, NOW! Thank you, thank you.”

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)

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Sister Mary Clarence – “Young man, take your foot down off of that stool.”

Sister Act (1992)

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Sister Mary Patrick – “I can’t believe the Pope is coming! This is better than ice cream!”

Sister Mary Robert – “It’s better than springtime!”

Delores – “It’s better than sex! No, I mean – I’ve heard.”

Sister Act (1992)

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Biker #2 – “Wanna dance, sister?”

Sister Mary Clarence – “Why? You don’t have any rhythm.”

Sister Act (1992)

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Vince – “Is it done?”

Willy – “Not completely.”

Vince – “What do you mean?”

Joey – “Vince, we can’t waste a nun.”

Vince – “What are you two nuts talking about? It’s Delores, in a costume.”

Willy – “How do you know she didn’t sign up and become one of them when she was there? Things like this happen.”

Vince – “Because I know this woman. In the biblical sense and she ain’t no nun.

Sister Act (1992)

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Vince – “Joey, do it.”

Joey – “I can’t, Vince. She’s still a nun.”

Vince – “She’s a broad. Y’got it? Just a broad!”

Reverend Mother – “I guarantee you she is no broad! She is Sister Mary Clarence of St. Katherine’s Convent. She’s a model of generosity, virtue, and love! You have my word for it, gentlemen, she is a nun!”

Willy – “Ya hear that? Now, aren’t you glad we didn’t shoot her?”

Sister Act (1992)

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Sister Mary Clarence – “Now listen, I know you’ve got to think about your image, cause image is important to you, because of course your friends are gonna dictate your actions through the rest of your lives, and I wouldn’t want you to step away from them and become an individual, that would almost be too much!”

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)

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Reverend Mother – “Brace yourself, sisters. Spread out and look for Mary Clarence. Try to blend in.”

Sister Act (1992)

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Ahmal James – “Rumour has it that you’re a Las Vegas showgirl?”

Sister Mary Clarence – “Let’s get one thing straight, my dear Ahmal. I am not, nor have I ever been, a Las Vegas showgirl. I am a headliner!”

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)

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And finally…

Image: ©Buena Vista Pictures

Sister Mary Clarence – “If you want to be somebody, if you want to go somewhere, you better wake up and pay attention.”

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)

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Thank you for stopping by It’s A Stampede! to read this post about the best Sister Act movie quotes. For more posts about classic movies, be sure to check out the recommended reads below.

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