Well, we are almost at the end of another year, and as is customary in December, it is time to look back, and discuss what the last 365 days served up in the world of cinema. The past few years have been a little bit bumpy, in large part due to various problems caused by the pandemic, but this year was meant to be a complete return to form.

I use the phrase “was meant to be”, because in terms of film, 2023 was no less bumpy than 2022, 2021, and 2020. Sure, the film industry didn’t have to deal with lockdowns and closures this year, but it did have two very significant issues to contend with, and they caused a few headaches.

The first of these issues was the writers’ and actors’ strikes, which took place throughout the summer and into the autumn. These two strikes essentially caused the movie (and television) industry to come to a grinding halt for a few months, with no new projects going into production throughout their duration.

Both of these strikes are now over, but while they were in full-swing nothing new was being made, no actors were able to promote their forthcoming releases, and the film industry entered a rocky period. Worried there simply wouldn’t be anything to release in 2024 if the strikes continued, a number of movie studios removed films from the release schedule and shifted them to next year.

The result of these removals was a fairly empty release schedule during the autumn/winter of 2023. After waaaaay too many movies coming out at the beginning of the year, and especially during the summer, things sort of fizzled out during the last few months.

Not a great situation for cinemas or streaming services who had little to offer. Also not great for audiences, who were simply being presented with mediocre films, that were left to cover the gap.

Image: ©Lucasfilm/Disney/Paramount
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The second issue of 2023 was another big one for the studios, and this time it was related to budgets and box-office. Quite a number of movies came out this year which had huge, inflated budgets, and therefore considerable costs to recoup, but not enough people went to see these movies at the cinema, resulting in a series of flops.

Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, The Flash, The Marvels, Wish, Shazam: Fury of the Gods, Transformers: Rise of the Beasts, and even Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning: Part One, all struggled or flopped at the box-office. Most of these films were either pretty decent, or in the case of Dungeons & Dragons and Mission: Impossible superb, but they simply didn’t get enough bums on seats.

No one really knows why audiences didn’t show up for these films (as well as quite a few others), but the cold hard fact is, they didn’t! Audiences were very choosy about what they were willing to pay for in 2023, and even good movies fell by the wayside.

The Hollywood big-wigs will no doubt be trying to work out where things went wrong, but I suspect the answers aren’t too difficult to find. The studios themselves spent the last couple of years convincing audiences that streaming is the No.1 option to watch movies, so it’s not all that surprising that audiences are opting to skip cinemas and stay at home.

You can also factor in the ongoing cost of living crisis, which is having a significant impact on everyone’s finances, as well as the continued rise in social media which is filling up peoples’ time, and the age-old problem of online piracy. Plus, there’s that pesky issue of the cinema experience being ruined by rude people, who sit on their phones or talk through the movie, which puts everyone off from leaving their house.

But this is Hollywood’s problem to fix, not mine. Hopefully it’ll figure it all out in the not too distant future.

Image: ©Sony Pictures

Anyway, despite some bumpy times throughout 2023, there has still been plenty to watch. So much in fact, this year I have reviewed 300 movies on It’s A Stampede!, which is kind of crazy when you stop and think about it. It works out at a new movie every 1.22 days!

Sure, it seems like there’s never anything to watch, but as I’m proving, the truth is there is plenty of content out there. Between the cinema, streaming services, free-to-air television, and home video, there’s a huge wealth of movies to dive into.

Are all of these movies good? No, which is why you need a critic to separate the good from the bad (hint hint), but that doesn’t mean options aren’t available and there isn’t something for everyone to watch.

Speaking of which, it’s time to discuss the films of 2023. It’s the year which gave us Barbie, Wonka, and Russell Crowe riding a moped in The Pope’s Exorcist!

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January to April

As 2023 got off the ground, there was an initial bit of holdover from 2022, with films drifting across from one year to the next. Movies such as White Noise, A Man Called Otto, I Wanna Dance With Somebody, and The Banshees of Inisherin were doing the rounds, either in cinemas or on streaming services, and these were providing varying levels of entertainment.

Outside of these films, Christian Bale took the lead role in the atmospheric, and very effective mystery-thriller, The Pale Blue Eye; Will Smith delivered a powerful performance in Emancipation; and Olivia Colman proved to be the highlight of Empire of Light. Meanwhile, Cate Blanchett lead the highly-praised, but very overrated (and really dull) Tár; Margot Robbie did her best with the bloated Babylon; and Rob Lowe went looking for a missing mutt in Dog Gone.

Some of the highlights which cropped up around the early part of the year included the satirical horror, M3GAN; the likeable British comedy, Bank of Dave; and the fun Jonah Hill/Eddie Murphy picture, You People. Gerard Butler impressed in the surprisingly entertaining, Plane; Jennifer Lopez delighted (and LOOKED AMAZING) in Shotgun Wedding; and Dave Bautista captivated in M. Night Shyamalan’s Knock at the Cabin.

Image: ©Universal Pictures

Two of the best films which arrived in the UK during the early part of 2023 (even though they were released in the US in 2022), included Puss in Boots: The Last Wish and Till. The former was the latest animated spin-off from the Shrek series, while the latter was a historical drama about Mamie Till.

Both of these movies received five stars from me and were simply excellent. Puss in Boots: The Last Wish impressed with both its visuals and its story, while Till was truly mesmerising and featured a powerhouse performance from Danielle Deadwyler.

If you’ve still not watched either of these movies, be sure to stick them on your watchlist. They are polar opposites apart, but are fantastic nonetheless.

Image: ©Warner Bros. Pictures
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Other movies that popped up included Sorry About the Demon, JUNG_E, There’s Something Wrong with the Children, and Steven Spielberg’s The Fabelmans. The critically acclaimed The Whale made its debut in the UK, as did the Hugh Jackman drama, The Son, and Channing Tatum shimmied his way into cinemas via the appalling Magic Mike’s Last Dance.

Moving a little further along, and by mid-February Marvel’s Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania hit the big screen, followed shortly by the horror-comedy, Cocaine Bear. Meanwhile, streaming served up We Have a Ghost, The Strays, and Tonight You’re Sleeping with Me.

Slipping into March and new releases included Creed III, Scream VI, and 65 – a sci-fi dinosaur movie that needed far more dinosaurs than it offered. The horror movie, Pearl finally made its way to the UK; Sally Field, Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, and Rita Moreno starred in 80 for Brady; and Shazam! Fury of the Gods opened and then promptly died on its arse.

The Caped Crusader popped up in Batman: The Doom That Came to Gotham; Keira Knightly starred in Boston Strangler; and Taron Egerton fronted the enjoyable Tetris. Meanwhile, the excellent Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves arrived in cinemas, opening to great reviews, yet few people bothered to see it – including many D&D fans!

Seriously guys, where were you?! When even the hardcore fanbase can’t be arsed to show up, how the heck do you expect mainstream audiences to care?!

And I’m going to take a moment here to highlight something very important, which is the simple fact that if you love a property, such as D&D, and you want to see more D&D movies, then you must GO TO THE CINEMA TO WATCH THEM! This year, I read too many comments online from self-confessed D&D fans who didn’t bother going to the cinema to watch the D&D movie, found the film online, watched it for free, and then were gutted when it performed badly at the box-office.

These same people now want a sequel, but didn’t even support the first film. Well, I’m sorry, but if the first film doesn’t do the business, then it makes it less likely a sequel will follow. It’s as simple as that.

Image: ©Paramount Pictures

On the flipside, a film which did huge business, despite being mediocre, was The Super Mario Bros. Movie, which opened in April. The film – which featured the voice talents of Chris Pratt as Mario – was a massive box-office success and one of the highest grossing films of the year.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie will almost certainly get a sequel. The reason? Mario fans showed up and made it one of the highest grossing movies of the year, taking over $1.3 billion at the worldwide box-office.

With Mario taking up pretty much every last dollar and dime (or pound and pence for us Brits), there wasn’t much room for anyone else. However, this didn’t stop the influx of movies, and as April continued new films such as Air, Missing, and Renfield made their debut, as well as the superb Evil Dead Rise.

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May to August

Slipping into the next block of the year (May to August), and with Hollywood ready to take on the summer blockbuster season, this period became a full-on assault on the senses. A whole cavalcade of BIG movies were being pushed out, with some of the most notable including Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, The Little Mermaid, The Boogeyman, Transformers: Rise of the Beasts, Fast X, John Wick: Chapter 4, The Flash, Elemental, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, Insidious: The Red Door, Meg 2: The Trench, Haunted Mansion, Joy Ride, Gran Turismo, and Blue Beetle!

The above collection of films ranged from ‘really good’, to ‘yeah, OK’, to occasionally ‘tiresome’. Few were awful, but too many were underwhelming.

The six best movies of the summer were Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, Talk to Me, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem, Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning: Part One, Oppenheimer, and of course, Barbie. If you watched at least one of these movies this summer, well done, you made the right choice!

Image: ©Paramount Pictures/Nickelodeon
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Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse was a brilliant, inventive, and visually stunning animated sequel to 2018’s Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. The movie went bigger and bolder than its predecessor, and with its epic cliff-hanger, it left audiences with mouths open wide as credits rolled.

Mouths were also left open during a rather disturbing scene in the Australian horror movie, Talk to Me. The film – which told the story of a party game which unlocks a door to the spirit world – was a low-budget affair, but with smart direction and the right atmosphere, it really packed a wallop.

As for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem, this was an absolute treat of a movie, which boasted eye-popping animation, an excellent voice cast, and an emotive story. It is also the best TMNT movie of the lot, and one which is perfect for old school fans and newbies alike.

Image: ©Sony Pictures/Marvel Entertainment
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Moving onto Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning: Part One now, and actor Tom Cruise indulged in various death-defying stunts and threw himself around the screen for our enjoyment. As with Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning: Part One ended on a cliff-hanger, and now we all have to sit patiently and wait to see what comes next.

And then this brings me onto Oppenheimer and Barbie – two colossal films which were VERY different, yet they opened on the same day, and captured the attention of audiences like no one could have anticipated. The combined release of the two films was dubbed ‘Barbenheimer‘, and during the course of the summer audiences booked a double-bill of the two movies, ensuring they saw both as soon as possible.

Image: ©Warner Bros. Pictures/Mattel

Other movies which graced us with their presence during the summer season included Peter Pan & Wendy, The Mother, Flamin’ Hot, Extraction 2, Nimona, The Monkey King, and Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken. The summer also served up a few hidden or overlooked gems, including Wham!, Greatest Days, and Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.

I’ll also chuck in a mention for Crater, which was a Disney+ movie that arrived in May, before being pulled from the streaming service (along with various other titles) in a mass purge of content. While Crater wasn’t an amazing movie, it was fine for young audiences, and was only pulled because no one watched it.

Why did no one watch it? Because Disney didn’t bother telling anyone it existed.

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September to December

Swinging into the final four months of the year (September to December) and this is where the wheels started to come off a bit. Due to the strikes, this period featured less movies, and occasionally relied on whatever was knocking around.

However, regardless of the reduction in output during this time, there was still a number of big movies included A Haunting in Venice, Dumb Money, The Exorcist Believer, Five Nights at Freddy’s, Bottoms, Quiz Lady, The Marvels, Thanksgiving, Killers of the Flower Moon, Napoleon, The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds, Wish, Maestro, Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom, and Rebel Moon – Part One: A Child of Fire. Meanwhile, the best of the bunch was Wonka, Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget, The Burial, and the surprisingly good, Saw X.

However, the big daddy of them all was Godzilla Minus One. The Japanese kaiju movie didn’t arrive until mid-December, but it proved to be one of the best films of the year.

Image: ©Toho

With fully-realised human characters, a well-crafted story, strong special effects, and a creepy looking Big G, Godzilla Minus One was superb. It stomped its way into cinemas just before Christmas, and proved there is plenty of life left in the 70-year-old monster.

Other movies released during this time include Cobweb, Theater Camp, Leave the World Behind, and Leo. And as this period preceded Christmas, there was plenty of seasonal offerings too, including Genie, Candy Cane Lane, It’s A Wonderful Knife, and Merry Little Batman.

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Re-releases and anniversaries

Although 2023 was loaded with new releases, there was plenty of room for some classic re-releases too. Many fan-favourite movies from yesteryear returned to the big screen, including Alien, Aliens, Return of the Jedi, Jurassic Park, Manhunter, Friday 13th, Christine, and Die Hard, amongst others.

Both Warner Bros. and Disney also celebrated their 100th anniversaries in 2023, and this too brought even more re-releases. For Warner Bros. there was Superman: The Movie, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, The Dark Knight Rises, and The Shawshank Redemption, while for Disney there was Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Beauty and the Beast, Dick Tracy, Sister Act, and The Jungle Book.

Image: ©Second Sight

Meanwhile, in the realms of physical media a few classic titles got some impressive HD re-releases, including The Changeling and the Psycho films. However, the best of the bunch was an all-bells-and-whistles HD release of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, which proved to be a stellar example of why physical media is still alive in 2023.

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The worst and best movies of 2023

OK, so I’ve talked about a large number of the films which shaped 2023, but which were the best, and which were the absolute stinkers? Well, I’ll start with the worst films first, because who wants to dwell on the shite?

One of the worst movies of the year, without doubt, had to be Rob Zombie’s The Munsters – a film released in 2022 in the US, but not released in the UK until 2023 (hence its inclusion here). The Munsters was based on the beloved television series of the same name, yet was utter tripe, and probably shouldn’t be watched by anybody.

The same can also be said of Magic Mike’s Last Dance – a completely abysmal third instalment in the Magic Mike series. The film was an absolute mess, which lunged from one cringe-inducing moment to another with careless abandon.

Other utter shite in 2023 included the previously-shelved The King’s Daughter; the completely pointless remake of White Men Can’t Jump; the dreadfully unfunny Jack; and the laughably bad Bullet Train Down (not to be confused with Bullet Train). Meanwhile, Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey was woeful; Saltburn got wedged up its own arse; Disquiet was just plain rubbish; Bad CGI Gator lived up to its name and was as bad as you imagine; and The Nun II bored the life out of anyone unfortunate enough to see it.

And then that leaves low-budget horror movie, Headless Horseman – a film about a guy on the brink of death who makes a deal with the Devil, which results in him getting a pumpkin for a head. The man then has 24 hours to tie up his affairs before his soul is lost to Hell.

Featuring some embarrassingly bad special effects, as well as some awful acting, Headless Horseman was complete trash. Plus, the title made no sense, as the lead character was neither headless nor a horseman!

Image: ©The Asylum
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OK, sidestepping the dross, what about the best movies of the year? Well, my Top Ten is set out below, which this year includes a large number of high-profile franchise films. Normally there’s quite a few independent or lower-budget films amongst my list, but this year I’ve mostly gone for the big titles.

Why? Because while many of the tentpole releases fell short this year, the ones that brought their A-Game really stepped up to the plate. There were strong offerings from some well-known names, and they must be recognised accordingly.

For me, the Top Ten movies of 2023 are as follows:

10) Talk to Me
9) Evil Dead Rise
8) Till
7) Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves
6) Godzilla Minus One
5) Puss in Boots: The Last Wish
4) Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning: Part One
3) Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
2) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
1) Barbie

An interesting little titbit for you here: My Number 1 movie of 2023 is Barbie, which I awarded 4 stars out of 5, when I wrote my review for the film back in July. However, movies Number 2 and 3, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Across the Spider-Verse, both received five stars out of five in their respective reviews.

So, what gives? Why is Barbie my Number 1 movie if I rated the other movies higher?

It’s simple: Barbie had the biggest cultural impact in 2023. The film brought generations of movie-goers into the cinema; its release was considered an event; and I ended up watching the movie three times across the summer, with three different sets of friends.

When I look back at 2023, Barbie is the first movie which springs to mind, because it brought people together in a way I wish other movies would. As such, it edges out the Turtles and Spidey, although in an ideal world all three movies would take the top spot.

Image: ©20th Century Studios

If you’ve not watched any of the movies in my Top Ten, please consider adding some (or all) of them to your watchlist over the Christmas holidays. With the exception of Godzilla Minus One (which is currently playing in UK and US cinemas), the other nine titles are now available through home video, video-on-demand platforms, or streaming services.

And if those movies aren’t enough for you, outside of the Top Ten, other recommended movies include The Whale, The Creator, Wonka, The Pale Blue Eye, Emancipation, A Man Called Otto, M3GAN, Bank of Dave, Knock at the Cabin, Scream VI, Creed III, Joyride, Oppenheimer, Air, Greatest Days, The Burial, Tetris, and Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.

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Look ahead to 2024

Looking ahead to 2024 now, and with the strikes over (at least for the moment), the film industry will be looking to get bums back on seats again. Will it achieve this? I honestly have no idea, but I expect 2024 may be a recovery year.

There will be a few less films to begin with, because of the reduced production in 2023, but things should pick up throughout the year. Chances are, you probably won’t even notice anyway.

For those interested, there are plenty of high-profile movies on the horizon including Night Swim, Mean Girls, Argylle, Lisa Frankenstein, Madame Web, Bob Marley: One Love, Imaginary, The Fall Guy, Transformers One, IF, The Garfield Movie, Borderlands, Speak No Evil, Kraven the Hunter, and Wicked: Part One. Meanwhile, Kevin Costner will be unveiling his two-part epic Western, Horizon: An American Saga, while new sequels are in the works for Venom, The Karate Kid, and Bad Boys.

Image: ©20th Century/Disney

And if sequels are your thing, you’ll be pleased to know plenty are on the way, including Dune: Part Two, Kung Fu Panda 4, Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire, Rebel Moon: Part Two – The Scargiver, Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, Inside Out 2, Deadpool 3, Saw XI, Joker: Folie à Deux, Alien: Romulus, Smile 2, Terrifier 3, Despicable Me 4, The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim, Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire, and Sonic the Hedgehog 3. Plus, there will also be some belated sequels, which you probably didn’t expect, including Beetlejuice 2, Gladiator 2, and Twisters – a sequel to 1996’s Twister!

A few prequels will also be doing the rounds, with Mufasa: The Lion King, Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga, and A Quiet Place: Day One thrown into the mix. Plus, The Omen saga gets revived via new entry, The First Omen.

All of this and so much more will be winging its way to you very shortly. If you’re planning on seeing all of the above at the cinema, then you had best get saving your pennies!

As for now, that’s a wrap on the movies of 2023. I hope the year has been kind to you and it continues to be kind as we see out the final few days.

Thank you for visiting It’s A Stampede! throughout the year, your company is very much appreciated. I will see you in 2024.

Alex

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