If you have not started watching the comedy crime-drama, Only Murders in the Building, then you are truly missing out. This televisual treat, which stars Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez, is an absolute hoot of a series, filled with laughs, quirky characters, and plenty of murder mystery.
When the show made its debut in 2021, it was a big hit with viewers and critics alike. Only Murders in the Building was met with outstanding praise, with many commentators highlighting the central performances, as well as the comical dialogue.
And this is something I want to highlight in this post. Below you will find a selection of the best quotes taken from Only Murders in the Building.
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Best Only Murders in the Building quotes
Oliver Putnam – “So so so you put “Aurora” on her envelope when you tip at Christmas?”
Charles-Haden Savage – “I don’t tip.”
Oliver Putnam – “Whaaaaaat?”
Charles-Haden Savage – “I think it’s elitist. I send out autographed photos instead.”
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Oliver Putnam – “Ursula, my beloved! Even from here you smell like a field of lavender and French fries.”
Ursula – “My two favourite things.”
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Oscar – “‘Brazzos’ was one of three DVD sets in the prison library.”
Oliver Putnam – “God, prison sounds like hell.”
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Oliver Putnam – “What flavour do you have there?”
Oscar – “Uh, vegan sea salt oil?”
Oliver Putnam – “Jesus. When did ice cream become a hand lotion?”
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Oliver Putnam – “I feel like the worst father in the world.”
Teddy Dimas – “Are you kidding? On your worst day you didn’t drag your son into a criminal enterprise or cover up his involvement in someone’s death.”
Oliver Putnam – “True. But I did recently encourage him to get involved in the theatre, so…”
Teddy Dimas – “Well, that’s bad.”
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Oliver Putnam – “Bunny had a secret elevator? Where does it go, Hell?”
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Bunny Folger – “Don’t let yourself only love one thing. Because if you only love one thing and then that one thing goes away, well… then you’re left with nothing. And that sucks.”
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Mabel Mora – “What the fuck is in Bo’s mouth?”
Oliver Putnam, Charles-Haden Savage – “Becky’s panties!”
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Charles-Haden Savage – “Let’s see if Mabel’s free. I’ll call her.”
Charles-Haden Savage – “Or should I text?”
Oliver Putnam – “Calls bother them for some reason.”
Charles-Haden Savage – “Yeah, I think it’s a text.”
Charles-Haden Savage – “What sounds more casual, “Dear Mabel” or “Greetings, Mabel”?”
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Mabel Mora – “I’m a stranger that lied to you a bunch. And you’re two randos that dragged me into a podcast.”
Oliver Putnam – “‘Rando’ is a slang term for a person of no significance.”
Charles-Haden Savage – “I used context clues, but thank you.”
Oliver Putnam – “You’re welcome.”
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Howard Morris – “Wait, what could a Broadway star possibly wish they did instead?”
Jonathan – “Mmm… Alright, don’t laugh. But I’ve always wanted to be a children’s librarian.”
Howard Morris – “I’m a librarian.”
Jonathan – “Shut up.”
Howard Morris – “That’s our slogan.”
Jonathan – “Oh…”
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And finally…
Oliver Putnam – (Pushing the birdcage containing the parrot Mrs. Gambolini into Charles’s apartment) “Well, this delightful creature kept me up all night telling me to go fuck myself, which is why I look like Nick Nolte after Mardi Gras.”
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Thank you for stopping by It’s A Stampede! to read this post about Only Murders in the Building – I hope it has proved useful. For more useful posts, be sure to check out the recommended reads below.
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