In 1984, Warner Bros. Pictures released Gremlins – a black comedy from director Joe Dante. Set at Christmas time, the movie told the story of a small town which becomes overrun by gruesome creatures, with the ability to multiple exponentially.
Since making its debut, Gremlins has developed a very loyal following, with many fans falling in love with Gizmo the Mogwai, and the quirky (and often creepy) gremlins. But there is also a lot of love for the script, which is loaded with some fantastic quotes.
In this post I am serving up a collection of the best Gremlins movie quotes. These are the greatest lines from a truly great film, and are sure to remind you why this is such a beloved cinema classic.
Boy – “Look Mister, there are some rules that you’ve got to follow.”
Billy Peltzer – “Yeah, what kind of rules?”
Boy – “First of all, keep him out of the light, he hates bright light, especially sunlight, it’ll kill him. Second, don’t give him any water, not even to drink. But the most important rule, the rule you can never forget, no matter how much he cries, no matter how much he begs, never feed him after midnight.”
Gerald Hopkins – “If it isn’t Captain Clip-On. Guess who almost signed for unemployment today?”
Billy Peltzer – “I give up.”
Gerald Hopkins – “You. But Mr. Corben had second thoughts. He gets so sentimental around the holidays.”
Billy Peltzer – “Imagine that.”
Gerald Hopkins – “If it was up to me, I would have fired you in a second.”
Billy Peltzer – “Well, a Merry Christmas to you too.”
Sheila Futterman – “There’s more to life than macaroni.”
Lynn Peltzer – “Yes? Billy! Are you okay? Where are you?”
Billy Peltzer – “Mom, they’ve hatched. Get out of the house!”
Kate Beringer – “What’re they doing?”
Billy Peltzer – “They’re watching Snow White. And they love it.”
Mrs. Deagle – “Mrs Harris, what are you trying to tell me?”
Mrs. Harris – “I’m afraid none of us can pay for two weeks. Couldn’t you just get Mr. Corben to just give us a little more time?”
Mrs. Deagle – “Mrs Harris, the bank and I have the same purpose in life – to make money. Not to support a lot of… deadbeats!”
Mrs. Harris – “Mrs. Deagle! It’s Christmas!”
Ruby Deagle – “Well, now you know what to ask Santa for, don’t you?”
Gizmo – “Bright light. Bright light.”
Murray Futterman – “Goddamn foreign TV. I told ya we should’ve got a Zenith.”
Kate Beringer – “What are they, Billy?”
Billy Peltzer – “They’re gremlins, Kate. Just like Mr. Futterman said.”
Kate Beringer – “You say you hate Washington’s Birthday or Thanksgiving and nobody cares, but you say you hate Christmas and people treat you like you’re a leper.”
Grandfather – “I’m sorry. Mogwai not for sale.”
Randall Peltzer – “Why not? You said everything in your grandfather’s store was for sale.”
Grandfather – “With Mogwai, comes much responsibility. I cannot sell him at any price.”
Stripe – “Gizmo Caca.”
Mrs. Deagle – “Christmas carolers. I hate Christmas carolers. Screechy-voiced little glue sniffers.”
Grandfather – “He has something he wants to say to you.”
Billy Peltzer – “You mean you can understand what he says when he speaks?”
Grandfather – “To understand, one has only to listen.”
Gizmo – “Bye Billy.”
Kate Beringer – “Now I have another reason to hate Christmas.”
Billy Peltzer – “What are you talking about?”
Kate Beringer – “The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn’t home. So, Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So, the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That’s when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He’d been climbing down the chimney… his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that’s how I found out there was no Santa Claus.”
Randall Peltzer – “Well, that’s the story. So, if your air conditioner goes on the fritz or your washing machine blows up or your video recorder conks out; before you call the repairman turn on all the lights, check all the closets and cupboards, look under all the beds, ’cause you never can tell there just might be a gremlin in your house.”
If you’re a fan of the Gremlins movies (and quite frankly, who isn’t?) then you may wish to know that both films are currently available to buy on Blu-ray.
The Gremlins/Gremlins 2: The New Batch Blu-ray collection includes both films in a twin-set.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post about the best quotes from Gremlins. This ‘80s Christmas monster movie is an absolute classic, with some truly great lines!
For more movie-related posts, be sure to check out the recommended reads below. Here you will find posts about other classic films.
Disclaimer: I earn a commission for products purchased through some links in this article.