Directed by Jonathan Lynn and released in 1985, Clue is a black comedy based on the Clue/Cluedo board game. The movie features an ensemble cast, including Tim Curry, Christopher Lloyd and Lesley Ann Warren, and is HILARIOUS.

In this post I am serving up some of the best quotes from Clue. Killer lines from a killer movie to give you something to tickle your funny bone.

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Best quotes from Clue

Image: ©Paramount Pictures

Wadsworth: “At the start of the evening, Yvette was here, by herself, waiting to offer you all a glass of champagne. I was in the hall. I know because I was there.”

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Colonel Mustard: “Wadsworth, am I right in thinking there’s nobody else in this house?”

Wadsworth: “Um… no.”

Colonel Mustard: “Then there is someone else in this house?”

Wadsworth: “Sorry, I said “no” meaning “yes.””

Colonel Mustard: “”No” meaning “yes?” Look, I want a straight answer, is there someone else, or isn’t there, yes, or no?”

Wadsworth: “No.”

Colonel Mustard: “No there is, or no there isn’t?”

Wadsworth: “Yes.”

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Miss Scarlet: “I hardly think it will enhance your reputation at the U.N. Professor Plum, if it’s revealed that you have been implicated not only in adultery with one of your patients, but in her death and the deaths of five other people.”

Professor Plum: “You don’t know what kind of people they have at the U.N., I might go up in their estimation.”

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Miss Scarlet: “Maybe there is life after death.”

Mrs. White: “Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage!”

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Professor Plum: “What are you afraid of, a fate worse than death?”

Mrs. Peacock: “No, just death, isn’t that enough?”

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Colonel Mustard: “How many husbands have you had?”

Mrs. White: “Mine or other women’s?”

Colonel Mustard: “Yours.”

Mrs. White: “Five.”

Colonel Mustard: “Five?”

Mrs. White: “Yes, just the five. Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong and disposable.”

Colonel Mustard: “You lure men to their deaths like a spider with flies.”

Mrs. White: “Flies are where men are most vulnerable.”

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Mrs. Peacock: “Uh, is there a little girl’s room in the hall?”

Yvette: “Oui oui, Madame.”

Mrs. Peacock: “No, I just wanna powder my nose.”

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Mr. Green: “He couldn’t have been dead.”

Professor Plum: “He was. At least I thought he was, but what difference does it make now?”

Miss Scarlet: “Makes quite a difference to him.”

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Mr. Green: “So it was you. I was going to expose you.”

Wadsworth: “I know. So, I choose to expose myself.”

Colonel Mustard: “Please, there are ladies present!”

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Wadsworth: “You were jealous that your husband was schtupping Yvette. That’s why you killed him, too!”

Mrs. White: “Yes. Yes, I did it. I killed Yvette. I hated her, so much… it-it- the f – it -flam – flames. Flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl- heaving breaths. Heaving breaths… Heathing…”

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Wadsworth: “Frankly, Scarlett, I don’t give a damn.”

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Clue is a brilliant comedy/murder mystery that should be watched religiously. If you have not watched Clue in a while, give it a whirl today and reconnect with a classic – you won’t regret it!

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