Creepy, kooky, and all together ooky, is just one of the ways to describe the Addams Family – a weird and wonderful family who have been haunting the horror genre for decades. Created by cartoonist Charles Addams, the Addams’ clan includes Gomez, Morticia, Wednesday, Pugsley, Uncle Fester, Grandmama, Lurch, Thing, and Cousin Itt, and over the years these gleefully macabre characters have been the stars of comic strips, cartoons, television shows, and movies.

And it is movies that is the focus of this post, because the Addams Family have appeared in a string of hit pictures, from live-action through to animation. Each of these films has seen the family embark on some strange and unexpected adventures, and each has served up some memorable scenes, as well as some killer dialogue!

Across the course of the Addams Family movie series, the family has served up some great lines. And especially for you (yes, you), I’m presenting the best of the best.

This post includes the best movie quotes from The Addams Family (1991), The Addams Family Values (1993), Addams Family Reunion (1998), The Addams Family (2019), and The Addams Family 2 (2021).

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Image: ©Paramount Pictures

Morticia – “Wednesday’s at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.”

Ellen – “Boys?”

Wednesday – “Homicide.”

The Addams Family Values (1993)

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Gomez – “How long has it been since we’ve waltzed?”

Morticia – “Oh, Gomez… hours.”

The Addams Family (1991)

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Margaret – “What are you, darling? Where’s your costume?”

Wednesday – “This is my costume. I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else.”

The Addams Family (1991)

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Image: ©MGM

Morticia Addams – “It’s hideous!”

Gomez Addams – “It’s horrible!”

Morticia Addams, Gomez Addams – “It’s home!”

The Addams Family (2019)

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Joel – “Wednesday, do you think that maybe someday you might want to get married and have kids?”

Wednesday – “No.”

Joel – “But what if you met the right man, who worshipped and adored you? Who’d do anything for you? Who’d be your devoted slave? Then what would you do?”

Wednesday – “I’d pity him.”

The Addams Family Values (1993)

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Gomez Addams – “Let’s see here… Publisher’s Killing House… Tombs “R” Us… Hearse and Driver…”

Addams Family Reunion (1998)

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Margaret – “You are too precious for words, why, I could just… eat you alive!”

Morticia – “Oh no, Margaret! Too young!”

The Addams Family (1991)

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Image: ©Paramount Pictures

Gomez – “To mirth, to merriment… to manslaughter.”

The Addams Family Values (1993)

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Gomez Addams – “We did good.”

Morticia Addams – “I won’t tell, if you won’t.”

The Addams Family (2019)

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Wednesday – “Wait!”

Amanda – “What?”

Wednesday – “We cannot break bread with you.”

Amanda – “Huh? Becky, what’s going on?”

Becky – “Wednesday!”

Wednesday – “You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides. You will play golf and enjoy hot hors d’oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, “Do not trust the Pilgrims. Especially Sarah Miller.””

Amanda – “Gary, she’s changing the words.”

Wednesday – “And for all these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.”

The Addams Family Values (1993)

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Dr. Pinderschloss – “But then you are feeling the little black monster.”

Gomez – “Pugsley?”

Dr. Pinderschloss – “Guilt.”

The Addams Family (1991)

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Image: ©MGM

Gomez Addams – “Tell that Billie Eilish she’s a little too sunny for my taste. But I’m still a fan.”

The Addams Family 2 (2021)

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Girl Scout – “Is this made from real lemons?”

Wednesday – “Yes.”

Girl Scout – “I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they’re real lemons?”

Pugsley – “Yes.”

Girl Scout – “Well, I’ll tell you what. I’ll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?”

Wednesday – “Are they made from real Girl Scouts?”

The Addams Family (1991)

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Gomez – “Cara mia.”

Morticia – “Mon cher.”

The Addams Family (1991)

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Gomez Addams – “Tastes like cotton candy.”

Morticia Addams – “How do you know what cotton candy tastes like?”

Gomez Addams – “Tish, it was my youth. I made mistakes!”

The Addams Family (2019)

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Debbie Jellinsky – “I don’t wanna hurt anybody. I don’t enjoy hurting anybody. I don’t like guns, or bombs, or electric chairs. But sometimes people just won’t listen. And so, I have to use persuasion. And slides.”

Debbie Jellinsky – “My parents, Sharon and Dave. Generous, doting, or *were they*? All I ever wanted was a Ballerina Barbie. In her pretty pink tutu. My birthday.”

Debbie Jellinsky – “I was 10, and do you know what they got me? *Malibu* Barbie.”

Morticia – “Malibu Barbie.”

Gomez – “The nightmare.”

Morticia – “The nerve.”

Debbie Jellinsky – “That’s not what I wanted! That’s not who I was. I was a *ballerina*, graceful, delicate! They had to go.”

The Addams Family Values (1993)

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Morticia – “I’m just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It’s just, I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade.”

The Addams Family Values (1993)

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Image: ©MGM

Gomez Addams – “Your hand is as cold as a dead fish!”

Morticia Addams – “My love, that IS a dead fish.”

The Addams Family (2019)

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Wednesday Addams – “Remember, Bethany. I’m not locked in here with you; you’re locked in here with me.”

The Addams Family (2019)

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Wednesday Addams – “It’s all Jekyll. No Hyde.”

The Addams Family 2 (2021)

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Wednesday – “Pugsley, sit in the chair.”

Pugsley – “Why?”

Wednesday – “So we can play a game.”

Pugsley – “What game?”

Wednesday – “It’s called, “Is There a God?””

The Addams Family (1991)

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Gomez – “Children, why do you hate the baby?”

Pugsley – “We don’t hate him. We just wanna play with him.”

Wednesday – “Especially his head.”

The Addams Family Values (1993)

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Uncle Fester – “Dementia! What a beautiful name!”

Dementia – “It means “insanity.””

Uncle Fester – “My name is Fester. It means “to rot.””

The Addams Family Values (1993)

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Wednesday Addams – “I’ll never forget you, Pugsley, although I will try.”

The Addams Family (2019)

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Wednesday Addams – “I think that woman is deranged. Her face reminds me of a death mask.”

Uncle Fester – “Deranged? Death mask? If you say she has halitosis, it’s a love match!”

The Addams Family (2019)

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Image: ©Paramount Pictures

Pugsley – “It’s a boy.”

Wednesday – “It’s a girl.”

Uncle Fester – “Gomez!”

Grandma – “What news?”

Wednesday – “Father, what is it?”

Gomez – “It’s an Addams!”

The Addams Family Values (1993)

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Wednesday – “May I have the salt?”

Morticia – “What do we say?”

Wednesday – “Now.”

The Addams Family (1991)

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Pugsley Addams – “Dad, has anybody ever failed the Mazurka?”

Gomez Addams – “Only one: your third cousin Zander.”

Pugsley Addams – “Never heard of him.”

Gomez Addams – “Exactly!”

The Addams Family (2019)

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Gomez – “At his request, I would rip out my eyes. At his command, I would crawl on my belly through hot coals and broken glass.”

Morticia – “Why wait?”

The Addams Family Values (1993)

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Gomez – “I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss.”

The Addams Family (1991)

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Gomez – “He has my father’s eyes.”

Morticia – “Gomez, take those out of his mouth.”

The Addams Family Values (1993)

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Morticia – “Gomez… Sun. Il me perce comme un poignard.”

Gomez – “Oh, Tish. That’s French.”

Morticia – “Oui.”

The Addams Family (1991)

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Uncle Fester – “I think I can see my house from here! No wait, that’s a woman’s prison.”

The Addams Family (2019)

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Morticia – “Children, this is Miss Jellinsky, our new nanny. What do we say?”

Wednesday – “Be afraid. Be very afraid.”

The Addams Family Values (1993)

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Wednesday Addams – “When I tested your hair for the DNA test, it said conclusively that you were not my father.”

Gomez Addams – “Oh that’s simple. I had a teeny tiny accident with a napalm bomb a few years ago.”

Gomez Addams – “I had to replace it with genuine Sasquatch fur.”

The Addams Family 2 (2021)

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Morticia Addams – “Everyone all right? No missing limbs that weren’t already missing before you came?”

The Addams Family (2019)

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(Holding a red balloon)

Morticia Addams – “Strange, there’s usually a murderous clown attached to the other end of these…”

The Addams Family (2019)

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Debbie Jellinsky – “Isn’t he a lady-killer!”

Gomez – “Acquitted!”

The Addams Family Values (1993)

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Morticia – “Don’t torture yourself, Gomez. That’s my job.”

The Addams Family (1991)

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Gomez – “Is it painful?”

Morticia – “Extremely.”

The Addams Family (1991)

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Wednesday – “Pugsley, the baby weighs 10 pounds, the cannonball weighs 20 pounds. Which will hit the stone walkway first?”

Pugsley – “I’m still on fractions.”

Wednesday – “Which do you think?”

Pugsley – “The cannonball?”

Wednesday – “Very good. But which one will bounce?”

Pugsley – “The baby?”

Wednesday – “There’s only one way to find out. Ready? 1… 2… 3…”

The Addams Family Values (1993)

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Pugsley – “Are they dead?”

Wednesday – “Does it matter?”

The Addams Family (1991)

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Gomez – “To live without you, only that would be torture.”

Morticia – “A day alone, only that would be death.”

The Addams Family (1991)

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Image: ©Paramount Pictures

Morticia – “Children, what are you doing?”

Wednesday – “I’m going to electrocute him.”

Morticia – “But we’re late for the charity auction.”

Wednesday – “But, Mother…”

Morticia – “I said no.”

Pugsley – “Pleeaaaase?”

Morticia – “Oh, all right.”

The Addams Family (1991)

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Wednesday Addams – “It will be torture, and not the fun kind like sticking leeches in Pugsley’s briefs.”

The Addams Family 2 (2021)

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Morticia – “When we first met years ago, it was an evening much like this. Magic in the air. A boy.”

Gomez – “A girl.”

Morticia – “An open grave. It was my first funeral.”

Gomez – “You were so beautiful. Pale and mysterious. No one even looked at the corpse.”

The Addams Family (1991)

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Lurch – “Uh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-uh!

The Addams Family (1991)

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Morticia Addams – “I don’t think Wednesday believed us, Gomez.”

Gomez Addams – “I am sure she would say something if she didn’t, that’s one thing you can always count on Wednesday for, total honesty. She always tells me when I’m not wanted, or hovering, or uncool.”

The Addams Family 2 (2021)

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Gomez Addams – “I love it when your murderous maternal instincts kick in, Tish. We’re back in the parenting business!”

The Addams Family 2 (2021)

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And finally…

Image: ©MGM

Gomez Addams – “Different is what the extra D in Addams stands for.”

Wednesday Addams – “I thought it was dismemberment.”

The Addams Family 2 (2021)

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Thank you for taking the time to stop by It’s A Stampede! to read the best Addams Family movie quotes. For more posts, be sure to check out the recommended reads below.

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