Since making its debut back in 2009, teen horror comedy, Jennifer’s Body has built up a strong and loyal cult following. The film – which stars Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried – follows the story of two high school girls, who find their friendship hitting rocky ground when one of them develops demonic abilities.  

Filled with a wicked sense of humour and strong performances from the two leads, Jennifer’s Body is a hoot of a movie. Oft-overlooked, but always ripe for revisiting, the film is packed with great moments and an even greater script, filled with many quotable lines.

Below I am taking a look back over these lines with a run-through of the best quotes from Jennifer’s Body. These are the lines of dialogue which really stand out from the crowd and help make this movie the delightful little horror flick that it is!

Advertisements
Advertisements

__

The best Jennifer’s Body movie quotes

Image: ©20th Century

Nikolai Wolf – “Listen, it’s uh, really dangerous out here. Do you wanna head someplace safer, like my van?”

Needy Lesnicky – “What?”

Nikolai Wolf – “I’m in survival mode right now, and I want us to get to a familiar place, and right now, I feel like that’s my van.”

__

Jennifer Check – “I think the singer wants me.”

Needy Lesnicky – “Only because he thinks you’re a virgin. I heard them talking.”

Jennifer Check – “Yeah, right. I’m not even a backdoor-virgin anymore, thanks to Roman. By the way, that hurts. I couldn’t even go to flags the next day. I had to stay home and sit on a bag of frozen peas.”

__

Nikolai Wolf – “We come here tonight to sacrifice the body of…”

(Takes Jennifer’s gag out)

Nikolai Wolf – “What’s your name again, Tiffany?”

Jennifer Check – “My name is Jennifer…”

Nikolai Wolf – “Super.”

__

Image: ©20th Century

Nikolai Wolf – “Do you know how hard it is to make it as an indie band these days? There are so many of us, and we’re all so cute and it’s like if you don’t get on Letterman or some retarded soundtrack, you’re screwed, okay? Satan is our only hope. We’re working with the beast now. And we’ve got to make a really big impression on him. And to do that, we’re going to have to butcher you. And bleed you. And then Dirk here is gonna wear your face.”

Nikolai Wolf – “Relax, I’m kidding about the face thing. The rest is gonna happen.”

__

Jennifer Check – “Yes. Yes, I’m a virgin. I’m a virgin. I’ve never even done sex. I don’t even know how. So, you guys should find somebody. Who does. Know how.”

__

Chastity – “It’s true. It’s on the Wikipedia.”

__

Needy Lesnicky – “How are you going to get alcohol?”

Jennifer Check – “I’ll just play Hello Titty with the bartender.”

__

Chip’s Mom – “Did you hear what Colin Gray looked like when they found him?”

Chip Dove – “Lasagna with teeth?”

Chip’s Mom – “You heard.”

__

Jennifer Check – “You give me such a wetty.”

Advertisements
Advertisements

Jennifer Check – “Hey, Monistat.”

Needy Lesnicky – “What’s up, Vagisil?”

__

Jennifer Check – “I just got Aquamarine on DVD. It’s about a girl who’s, like, half sushi. She must’ve had sex with a blowhole or something.”

__

Needy Lesnicky – “You know what? You were never really a good friend. Even when we were little, you used to steal my toys and pour lemonade on my bed.”

Jennifer Check – “And now, I’m eating your boyfriend. See? At least I’m consistent.”

__

Jennifer Check – “You’re lime green jello and you can’t even admit it to yourself.”

__

Colin Gray – “They’re showing “Rocky Horror” at the Bijou next Friday night.”

Jennifer Check – “I don’t like boxing movies.”

__

Jennifer Check – (Grabs Needy’s breasts) “These are like smart bombs, you point them in the right direction and shit gets real.”

__

Needy Lesnicky – “Are you PMS’ing or something?”

Jennifer Check – “PMS isn’t real Needy, it was invented by the boy-run media to make us seem like we’re crazy.”

Advertisements
Advertisements

__

Image: ©20th Century

Needy Lesnicky – “Hell is a teenage girl.”

__

Jennifer Check – (Having been stabbed in the stomach) “Got a tampon?

__

Jennifer Check – “I am a god!”

Needy Lesnicky – “Okay.”

__

Needy Lesnicky – “Jennifer’s evil.”

Chip Dove – “I know.”

Needy Lesnicky – “No. I mean, she’s actually evil. Not high school evil.”

__

Jennifer Check – “I am scrumptious!”

__

Chip’s Mom – “Camille! Sit like a lady, no one wants to see your kiki.”

__

Needy Lesnicky – “I’m gonna call the cops.”

Jennifer Check – “Uh, okay… why don’t you narc me out? I’ve got the cops in my back pocket, Needy. I’m fucking a Cadet, remember?”

__

Jennifer Check – “Oh! A puncture wound. God, that’s *so* emo…”

Advertisements

__

Needy Lesnicky – “It’s ‘freak-tarded’.”

__

Chip Dove – “Those jeans are hella low. I can almost see your front butt.”

Needy Lesnicky – “It’s a rock show. This is my rock look.”

Chip Dove – “Well, I can see, like, your womb, so…”

__

Needy Lesnicky – “The whole country got a huge tragedy boner for Devil’s Kettle.”

__

Needy Lesnicky – “Everyday I get letters. I think I get more letters than Santa Clause, Zac Efron and Dr. Phil combined…”

Needy Lesnicky – “I’m kinda the shit!”

Advertisements
Advertisements

__

Image: ©20th Century

Chip Dove – “She can fly?”

Needy Lesnicky – “She’s just hovering… It’s not that impressive.”

Jennifer Check – “God, do you have to undermine everything I do? You are such a player hater!”

__

Chip Dove – “Needy, I care about you. As a person, not just some girl I made love to for four minutes the other night, and I’m scared of what’s happening to you.”

__

Chastity – “You’re totally lesbi-gay.”

__

Needy Lesnicky – “I’ve been through the Occult section of the library five times.”

Chip Dove – “Our library has an Occult section?”

Needy Lesnicky – “Yeah, it’s um, it’s really small.”

Advertisements

__

And finally…

Image: ©20th Century

Needy Lesnicky – “Why do you need him? Huh? You can have anybody that you want, Jennifer. So why Chip? Is it just to tick me off, or is it just because you’re just really insecure?”

Jennifer Check – “I am not insecure, Needy. God… that’s a joke. How could I ever be insecure? I was the Snowflake Queen.”

Needy Lesnicky – “Yeah… two years ago when you were socially relevant.”

Jennifer Check – “I am still socially relevant.”

Needy Lesnicky – “And when you didn’t need laxatives to stay skinny.”

Jennifer Check – “I am going to eat your soul… and SHIT IT OUT, Lesnicky!”

Needy Lesnicky – “I thought you only murdered boys.”

Jennifer Check – “I go both ways.”

Advertisements
Advertisements

__

Thank you for stopping by It’s A Stampede! to read this post about Jennifer’s Body. For more posts, be sure to check out the recommended reads below.

Read more:

Advertisements
Advertisements