Today I’m watching Shin Godzilla – a Godzilla movie I have heard positive things about. I have not watched this movie before, but I am looking forward to trying it out.

This is a Japanese Godzilla movie, so before I press ‘play’ I had best put my glasses on for the subtitles.

*Puts glasses on*

These aren’t my glasses.

Hang on – this isn’t Shin Godzilla!

Jeez, I nearly put on the Matthew Broderick Godzilla movie by mistake!

*Shudder*

*Puts the correct film on*

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OK, so my initial observation is… there is a lot of talking in this movie. Where’s the action? Where’s Godzilla?!

Seriously, stop the teasing and give me the beast!

*The story progresses… yet still no Godzilla*

Someone has just said: “There is no danger of the creature coming ashore.” Yeah, right! Have they never watched a Godzilla film before?

What, not even the shit one with Matthew Broderick?

Trust me, Godzilla will come ashore soon enough (if he ever turns up).

*The film continues*

Oh, I think Godzilla is about to arrive. I’m excited, I’m ready for Big G, I’m…

I’m…

…shocked at how strange he looks!

Image: ©Toho Pictures
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What’s going on with Godzilla’s CG-eyes?! 👀

Is Godzilla on something? Does someone need to check on him?

“Hey, Godzilla, are you OK hun?”

*Watches more of the film… but can’t stop staring at Godzilla’s eyes* 👀

So… this is an early form for Godzilla? He’s not fully evolved yet, right? He will look more menacing – I hope.

Image: ©Toho Pictures
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*The film continues*

So much destruction in this film (a huge plus point) and yet *yawn* so many scenes of Government officials talking.

You know, despite the huge spectacle, I’m actually getting really bored with this film. I want to see a lot less people and far more monster!

*Watches more of the film*

As the movie has progressed, Godzilla’s appearance has improved, and NOW he looks really good. The weird ‘eyes’ thing was simply some kind of pre-Godzilla form (or something like that) and now he’s a more terrifying, fully-formed monster!

Much better.

Image: ©Toho Pictures
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But improved appearance aside, I’m still so disappointed with the story – it is far too slow.

For me to truly get on board with this film, I need to feel invested in either the characters or the story and I’m not invested in either. It is losing me.

*Watches more*

No, I’m done. Sorry, Shin Godzilla, but I’m just not feeling you.

*Clicks stop*

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Putting aside an AWFUL first appearance, where Big G had the WORST LOOKING EYES EVER(!!!), I did like the final look of Godzilla. He was so damn creepy – this is what I wanted to see all through the film!

Image: ©Toho Pictures

But these few scenes with a non-googly-eyed Godzilla were pretty much the only thing I liked about this movie. The majority of Shin Godzilla was really boring and I found myself willing for something to happen, rather than enjoying what was on screen.

Shin Godzilla’s biggest problem is that it spends far too much time focused on people standing around talking, and next-to-no-time on Big G, and that makes for an incredibly slow film. Really, really slow.

Shin Godzilla might get a lot of praise, and I know it is well regarded amongst the Godzilla fanbase, but it is not one for me I’m afraid. Although, it is a million times better than the Broderick film.

Image: ©TriStar Pictures

But seriously…

…what was going on with those eyes?!

Image: ©Toho Pictures

Those eyes will haunt my dreams forever.

Must…

…block them…

…out.

*Shudder*

👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀

👀 👀 👀

👀

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Thank you for taking the time to read this post about Shin Godzilla – I truly hope ol’ googly-eyes doesn’t give you bad dreams. For some non-googly-eyed posts, take a look at the recommended reads below.

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