New to video-on-demand, and available to stream on Paramount+ in the UK and the US, is the horror movie prequel, Pet Sematary: Bloodlines. The movie – directed and co-written by Lindsey Anderson Beer – stars Jackson White, Henry Thomas, David Duchovny, Pam Grier, Jack Mulhern, and Samantha Mathis, and tells a story which takes place fifty years before the events of 2019’s Pet Sematary.
In the movie, the year is 1969 and Jud Crandall is getting ready to leave the town of Ludlow, Maine. Having seen friends and neighbours come and go after being drafted into the Vietnam War, Jud feels it’s time to join The Peace Corps.
But on the day he is set to depart along with his girlfriend, Jud crosses paths with his childhood friend, Timmy Baterman. Timmy is back in town, after serving in the war, and is now living with his father, Bill, and keeping a low profile.
However, Timmy isn’t the same person he was before he went to war and this is something Jud becomes quickly aware of. But is this a condition related to his military service, or could his unusual behaviour have anything to do with the mysterious pet cemetery that resides in Ludlow?
Right, I’m going to need a show of hands before I continue.
Hands up if you ever expected Paramount to green light a prequel to the 2019 version of Pet Sematary?
*Pauses and surveys the room*
OK, now keep your hands up if you or anyone you know has been crying out to see a prequel to Pet Sematary?
*Surveys the room once more*
Hmm… I see.
Me neither.
The arrival of a Pet Sematary prequel does appear to have come out of nowhere, doesn’t it? And yet oddly, even though no one asked for it, here it is just in time for Halloween.
Erm… OK.
But is it any good? Well, no, not really.
Despite surprising us with its arrival, and boasting some well-known names amongst its cast (Henry Thomas, David Duchovny, Pam Grier, etc), Pet Sematary: Bloodlines is a painfully dull picture which feels more like a 90-minute deviation, rather than must-see entertainment. The film is largely uneventful, adds very little to the Pet Sematary story, and is about as scary as an episode of PAW Patrol.
It’s not a car crash of a movie – far from it – but it’s not something to get excited about either. Pet Sematary: Bloodlines is substandard stuff at best and it’s certainly not going to rock anyone’s world this Halloween.
Paramount’s attempt to flesh out the Pet Sematary universe falls at the first hurdle because it is quintessentially boring. The storyline is bland, the characters are unappealing, and none of the actors get anything decent to do.
Duchovny and Grier are completely wasted in thankless roles, with Grier in particular shafted with no good material. As for Thomas, he spends the majority of the film either sipping beer or looking glum.
With recognisable names attached to this film, it gives the impression Pet Sematary: Bloodlines might be worth a look, but the story just isn’t there to back up the acting talent. Sure, it looks fine on the surface, and director Lindsey Anderson Beer delivers something which goes from A to B, but there’s little going on underneath.
This is a real shame, because at times there are attempts to add some depth to the picture. The backdrop of the Vietnam War, as well as Jud’s childhood friendship with Timmy are interesting aspects of the story, so it’s not as if the narrative doesn’t have some workable ideas.
But sadly, these story beats are not fully utilised. What could be an engrossing tale about the harsh reality of war and how it can alter friendships, mostly comes across as half-cooked.
I genuinely believe there is some good stuff in this film, and I can sort of see what the movie is going for, but it just doesn’t achieve its objectives. Good intentions are fine, but unfortunately good intentions don’t equate to an enjoyable experience.
Pet Sematary: Bloodlines kind of reminds me of The Exorcist: Believer, which opened in cinemas over the weekend. Both films have potential and neither fall apart on a technical level, but whichever way you cut it, they are both bland.
You go into them thinking they might delight or entertain because they are part of a recognisable brand name, but then the reality sets in they have little to offer. They exist purely as content and nothing more, with not much to say or add.
And in the case of Pet Sematary: Bloodlines, this film comes off a little worse out of the two because it is fairly one-note throughout. At least The Exorcist: Believer starts off mildly interesting, before the wheels come off; Pet Sematary: Bloodlines is uninteresting from the beginning.
Unless you are a huge Pet Sematary fan, or you’re deeply curious, there’s little going on here to invest your time in. It’s not rubbish, but it’s not exciting or imaginative either, and in an era of countless streaming platforms and wall-to-wall films and movies, being exciting and/or imaginative makes a huge difference.
Paramount made the correct choice in sending Pet Sematary: Bloodlines straight to streaming, as this is definitely not a film which requires a big screen release. The film feels unnecessary, so only approach if you’re really bothered about seeing it, otherwise give it a miss.
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