In new vampire movie, Night Teeth, Benny is a student living with his grandmother and brother. Keen to make some money, Benny takes a job as a chauffeur, with his ‘pick-up’ being two young women, Zoe and Blaire.

But what Benny doesn’t know is that Zoe and Blaire aren’t ordinary women, they are vampires. Benny also doesn’t know that by chauffeuring them around town, he is driving himself into the middle of a secret vampire society, which is currently going through a spat.

Over the course of the night, Benny finds himself getting in deeper with Zoe and Blaire, all the while learning more about the vampire world around him. But in order to survive the ordeal, he must keep his head down and continue to do his job – something which proves to be problematic, once he begins to develop feelings for Blaire.

Directed by Adam Randall, Night Teeth stars Jorge Lendeborg Jr., Alfie Allen, Debby Ryan, Lucy Fry, and Megan Fox. The movie is available to stream on Netflix from today, and while it is an aesthetically pleasing horror, it is a fairly uninspiring one too.

Image: ©Netflix
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From a visual standpoint, Night Teeth looks excellent. The lighting is beautiful, the costumes and make-up are on point, and there are some well-staged shots.

If this movie was playing on a television in a noisy bar, the sound was turned off, and I had no idea what the story was about, I would want to go home and check it out. The slick visuals alone would get me interested enough to track it down, and I’d be sure to give it a watch.

But I didn’t see this movie in a noisy bar, and I did get to experience it as intended with the sound up and my brain fully engaged. And alas, I feel the noisy bar option would have produced a far more complimentary review from me, because this is not a good movie.

Everything about Night Teeth feels sedate and redundant. I feel as if I have seen parts of this movie many times before, in much better versions, and it is not something I can recommend.  

To be blunt, watching this movie I was bored. It failed to capture my attention within the first 30-minutes, and things never improved beyond this.

Image: ©Netflix
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At various points during Night Teeth, I kept being reminded of the 1998 Marvel movie, Blade. Not because this movie is in any way as sharp or as action-packed as Blade, but because all of the secret vampire society stuff that forms part of the plot, felt as if it had been lifted from that movie.

And every time I was reminded of Blade, all I wanted to do was switch off Night Teeth and watch Blade instead. In fact, as I type out these words, I still wish I was watching the Marvel movie, rather than spending time on this review.

OK, so maybe that’s a little harsh, but Night Teeth seriously underwhelmed me. The whole thing felt as if it was seriously lacking in the story department, and despite my hope that it would get more exciting with each passing minute, it simply didn’t.

Image: ©Netflix
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On a positive note, the cast are fine and they do their best with what they are given to do. On a less positive note, what they are given to do really isn’t much.

Alfie Allen plays the role of the movie’s chief villain, and for a good chunk of the film he has nothing to do; Megan Fox drops by for the briefest cameo which is a complete waste of her involvement; and the lead trio of Jorge Lendeborg Jr., Debby Ryan, and Lucy Fry, are bogged down with bland dialogue that just goes on, and on, and on. Every line feels clichéd, every scene feels drawn out, and the action in this film is practically non-existent.

And all of this is a shame, because I can see the potential in the actors and in this movie. There are certainly elements that work, but none of it comes together and the end result is incredibly dull.  

Image: ©Netflix
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If you are after a great vampire movie, you won’t find it in Night Teeth. Do yourself a favour and watch Fright Night (1985), The Lost Boys (1987), Near Dark (1987), or the aforementioned Blade instead, as all of these movies will provide you with a better story, and far more thrills.

The only satisfaction you will get from Night Teeth, is from the visuals. And while this is the most notable element of the film, it really isn’t enough of a draw to keep anyone invested.

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