In Catwoman, Patience Phillips is a mild-mannered graphic designer who works for multi-million dollar cosmetics company, Hedare Beauty. Patience is good at her job, and very creative, but her boss, George Hedare doesn’t see her value and treats her as a disposable employee.
After voicing his disappointment at her latest artwork for an ad campaign, George gives Patience a day to fix things. She is to rework her assignment to meet his ever-changing specifications and deliver it by midnight the next day.
Unfortunately when Patience attempts to resubmit her work, George is nowhere to be found. Instead, she stumbles into the R&D department, where she learns a shocking secret about Hedare Beauty’s latest skin cream, Beau-line.
This information puts a target on Patience’s back, and after being chased and attacked by Hedare goons, she is left for dead. But death is a mere stumbling block for Patience and she is soon revived by mysterious/mystical cats and transformed into the anti-hero, Catwoman!
Originally devised as a spin-off of Batman Returns (1992), before being completely reworked and revised, then trapped in development hell for over a decade, Catwoman is a comic book movie starring Halle Berry, Sharon Stone, and Benjamin Bratt. Directed by Pitof, the movie is the first, and to date only, solo live-action Catwoman film, and based on how well it did back in 2004, it’s likely to remain that way for the foreseeable future.
Upon release, Catwoman was not met with a particularly good reception from critics (that’s putting it mildly), and it flopped at the box office, taking just $82.4 million against a budget of $100 million. It was also nominated for a whopping seven Golden Raspberry Awards, of which it won four for Worst Picture, Worst Actress, Worst Screenplay, and Worst Director.
But jump to 2024, the year in which Catwoman celebrates its 20th anniversary and have things changed? Is Catwoman really all that bad or is it a misunderstood classic which has undergone a complete revision in recent times?
Erm… well, some might tell you it has, and even lead star Halle Berry will tell you she is kind of fond of it these days, but no, it’s still a bit pants. Sure, it has some playful moments and the interactions between Berry and co-star Sharon Stone are wonderfully camp, but Catwoman remains a disappointing misfire.
The story, which revolves around Patience a.) transforming into Catwoman and b.) stumbling upon a dangerous skin cream, is at times laughable, but it is entirely serviceable. It’s comic book-y through-and-through, but that’s fine because this is a comic book movie.
No one should expect Shakespeare, and yes, comic book movies can be a bit wishy-washy. So long as they are fun, that’s all that matters.
Problem is, Catwoman is nowhere near as fun as it attempts to be. The dialogue isn’t jovial, it’s atrocious; the special effects aren’t kitsch, they are poor; and Catwoman’s costume isn’t stylish, it’s dreadful.
It’s difficult to take Berry seriously when Catwoman looks like she’s got dressed in a jumble sale, in the dark. The costume is rubbish, plan and simple, and no amount of arguments can convince otherwise.
The film also looks really weird. Yep, weird – it’s a technical term.
Odd editing choices, bad angles, crap lighting – it’s all there. The film is also flat in places, the pacing is uneven, and it’s all a bit of an underwhelming vehicle for such an iconic comic book character.
On the plus side, the final showdown between Catwoman and chief villain, Laurel Hedare is gloriously naff, and therefore quite entertaining, and the R&B soundtrack is enjoyable. It all feels very 2004, but hey, I quite liked 2004 so I’m fine to let it slide.
Outside of this, Catwoman is Catwoman. The film didn’t fare well in 2004 for no other reason than because it was poor, and things haven’t really improved since.
Oh, a bit of nostalgia might take the edge off the film’s many issues, but the whole thing is still a missed opportunity. A watchable missed opportunity, but not a particularly good one.
Should you wish to watch Catwoman, the film is currently available on DVD and digital. But just because you can watch something, doesn’t mean you should, even if it is celebrating an anniversary year.
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