New to Netflix from today is the teen sci-fi movie, Uglies. Directed by McG, the film stars Joey King and tells the story of a young girl living in a world where beauty is vital.
In the movie, the human race has found a way to reduce conflict and create harmony – and it is done through beauty. When a person reaches their 16th birthday, they undergo an operation to make themselves aesthetically perfect.
With everyone looking Hollywood hot (and basically like an Instagram filter), insecurities become a thing of the past. This in turn solves various problems and pushes the world towards a utopian society.
This is great for everyone, except those under the age of 16. All pre-op children are classed as ‘uglies’ including Tally Youngblood who is days away from her upgrade.
However, when Tally’s makeover hits a stumbling block and looks like it might not happen, Tally faces the prospect of losing out on her upgrade. In order to move forward, Tally has to agree to hunt down a fellow ‘ugly’ who has suddenly disappeared.
*Sigh*
*Heavy sigh*
*Heavier sigh*
*Even heavier sigh*
Can someone please get Joey King’s agent on the phone and insist she gets better acting gigs? Because King is great and I really feel she deserves better than to appear in yet another subpar Netflix offering.
And yes, to be clear, Uglies is YET ANOTHER SUBPAR NETFLIX OFFERING. This film is complete dross, which drifts from one scene to the next, dithering around and not really going anywhere.
The script is crap, some of the visual effects are crap, all the characters are crap, and the majority of the acting is crap. It is complete tosh which NO ONE will remember in a year, a month, or even a week.
The film suffers various problems, beginning with one very big sticking point: Casting the extremely pretty 25-year-old Joey King as the supposedly ugly 15-year-old Tally. Who thought this was a good idea? Who?!
And then to add to this, surrounding King with a supporting cast of equally good-looking young actors, and then claiming they are also ugly! Which of course they are not, because NO ONE IN THIS MOVIE IS ACTUALLY UGLY!!!!
Jeez, if you’re going to call your movie Uglies, and claim some of the youthful cast members are less-than-beautiful, then actually make them busted-ass ugly. Give me a cast of troglodytes who look as if they have just wandered in from the set of a Troma movie.
Don’t give me Joey King and don’t give me a bunch of hunks. GIVE ME HIDEOUS PEOPLE! GIVE ME YOUR FREAKS!!!!!
ARRRRGGGHH! THIS FILM IS CAUSING ME TO SHOUT!
*Takes a deep breath*
So, yeah, the ugly/beautiful thing is a problem, but it’s really just a drop in the ocean. Uglies is rubbish because it follows the usual Netflix template of being nothing more than wallpaper viewing.
As with so much of Netflix’s content, it is a film seemingly designed to watch while doing something else. It has occasional moments where you might look up from your phone to see what’s going on, but other than that it all moves along at one level and you just leave it on regardless of how shit it is.
Ugh.
Uglies is aimed at the teen crowd, but jeez, teens need better movies than this. Heck, we all need better movies than this.
I could easily turn this into a rant about how Netflix is ruining the enjoyment of watching movies, but this review isn’t the place. All you need to know is that Uglies is crap and you should watch something else.
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