Belly-flopping into UK and US cinemas today is the sci-fi action movie, Meg 2: The Trench. Directed by Ben Wheatley, the film is based on Steve Alten’s book The Trench, and stars Jason Statham, Wu Jing, Page Kennedy, and Skyler Samuels.
As the title suggests, Meg 2: The Trench is a sequel to 2018’s The Meg. Similar to its predecessor, the film sees lead character Jonas Taylor come face-to-face with something deadly under the sea, only this time it’s more than just a single Megalodon (as if that’s not bad enough).
In the movie, a group of scientists at an advanced ocean research centre in China are studying Megalodons. They have a captive Meg at the centre, and they’ve been hard at work building special subs and diving suits so they can study Megs underwater.
As part of their study, a team of researchers led by Jonas Taylor plan to take two subs 25,000ft underwater to monitor Megs in the wild. The plan is to travel to the Trench, a location deep in the ocean, where they believe the creatures exist.
After travelling to the depths of the ocean, the team encounter problems with their subs and become stranded in Meg territory. What follows is a battle for survival, as Jonas and his teammates find themselves encountering a diminishing air supply, a hostile environment, and some deadly sea creatures.
If you remember seeing the trailers for 2018’s The Meg, you’ll recall it seemed the movie was going to be a fun monster flick, which could balance tongue-in-cheek comedy with plenty of scares. However, if you actually caught the film itself, you’ll know The Meg was a bit of a damp squid.
Sorry, damp squib.
The scares were subpar, the comedy was flat, and no matter how much goodwill was being thrown in The Meg’s direction, it consistently missed the mark. It was certainly no Deep Blue Sea or Deep Rising, and this was a real shame.
Yet despite the underwhelming offering that was presented, The Meg managed to attract significant attention from audiences and it pulled in over $530 million at the worldwide box office. As such, whether anyone wanted it or not, a sequel was soon put into production with director Ben Wheatley taking over from previous director Jon Turteltaub.
Shooting then got underway, the publicity machine started churning out trailers and posters again, and I have to admit, things looked kind of positive. The preview trailers suggested Meg 2 was going to be the camp nonsense its predecessor should have been, and I honestly felt this franchise was going to do some much-needed course correcting.
But sadly my friends, Meg 2 is not the monster-sized rollercoaster ride that is currently being advertised (at least for the most part anyway). Those clever bods who splice together the trailers have tricked us once again, because what is now playing in cinemas is flotsam, jetsam, and a bit of a dud.
I’ll cut to the chase here: The first two thirds of Meg 2: The Trench are thunderously boring. The film spends far too long going through the motions, with a plot about Jonas and Co. trapped underwater running out of air etc, and this is not what you want from a monster movie.
It’s bland, it’s dull, it’s generic. It might look good, but it is utter drivel.
The acting throughout this part of the film is more wooden than a piece of flatpack furniture from IKEA, while the action seems to have gone AWOL. There are moments were nothing seems to happen, and the film becomes completely devoid of suspense and tension.
Had Meg 2: The Trench remained this way from start to finish, I would have almost nothing positive to say about the movie. With the exception of Jason Statham (as Jonah) this part of the film is dreadful, and if you don’t nod off for at least five minutes you should give yourself a pat on the back.
However, in a rather strange twist, things pick up considerably during the final third of the movie. From out of nowhere, Meg 2: The Trench takes a huge tonal shift and suddenly becomes a different film.
This tonal shift doesn’t make up for the dross served up before, but it does at least improve things. The final third of the movie starts heading towards the campy fun highlighted in the trailers, and this is at least confirmation that (finally) someone understands what a Meg movie should be.
This last chunk of the film is filled with monsters, it has plenty of action, and visually it is quite interesting. OK, so most attempts at comedy during this section fall a bit short, and it’s still nothing amazing, but this is where audiences will find some enjoyment.
This part of the movie is also where everyone is treated to the likeable performance of Page Kennedy who plays the character, DJ. Kennedy reprises the role from The Meg, and he is the only actor in this whole movie who completely understands what film he SHOULD be in.
Statham is good in the movie, but Kennedy is the one who completely understands that if you’re telling a story with prehistoric sharks, jet-skis, and explosives, then you’ve got to have some fun with it. He does have fun with it, and DJ becomes the stand-out character.
Outside of him, this section of the film is playful, the monster-action is mildly exciting, and there’s a lot more energy. This part of the movie is also loud, so if you have snoozed off at any point before, you’ll no doubt wake up.
But as much as I found this part quite enjoyable, this really doesn’t change how slow and unappealing the previous parts of the film are. Meg 2: The Trench should have been at this level from the start, and no last-minute improvements can change this.
Should you rush to the cinema to watch Meg 2: The Trench? No. Are you crazy? Did you not read what I just wrote?!
No. Just no.
If you really want to watch a great film this week, go and see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem, or re-watch Barbie for the seventh time. Unless you’re really desperate to watch Meg 2: The Trench, don’t waste your money.
My advice is to wait until this film pops up on streaming, then watch it at home. Fast-forward through all the dull bits, and press ‘play’ once you get towards the end – this part is fun.
Other than that, Meg 2: The Trench is not a good film, nor does it convince me I ever want to watch another. Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice and it’s clear I need psychiatric help.
I doubt very much a third film will follow, but if it does, I expect it will pop up on Betamax at a local Blockbuster near you under the title ‘The Meh‘. Either way, I won’t be watching, no matter how good the trailer looks.
__
Thank you for taking the time to read this review on It’s A Stampede!. For more reviews, check out the recommended reads below.
It's A Stampede! 
Leave a comment