When Buffy the Vampire Slayer hit television screens in 1997, it was a revelation. The show brought a fantastic mix of humour, horror, and high school hijinks together in one place, along with excellent story telling.
The series focused on a teenage vampire slayer called Buffy, and the trials and tribulations of balancing school life with her destiny as a defender against evil. The series juxtaposed the horror of adolescence against Buffy’s brutal battles with demons and monsters, and built up a loyal following in the process.
One of the many reasons that fans loved the show so much was because of its snappy and often witty dialogue. Some lines were very powerful, while others were merely designed to raise a chuckle or three.
In this post, I am taking a look at some of the best lines from Buffy the Vampire Slayer to remind us all why this was such a much-loved series during the ‘90s. Below is a selection of great lines from the show’s seven season run, so be sure to dive in and reminisce.
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The best Buffy the Vampire Slayer quotes
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce – “Remember the three key words for any Slayer: preparation… preparation… preparation.”
Buffy – “That’s one word three times.”
Bad Girls (Season Three)
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Buffy – “Back off, Pink Ranger!”
What’s My Line (Season Two)
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Buffy – “This’ll probably go faster if we split up.”
Lily – “Can I come with you?”
Buffy – “Okay, where did I lose you on the whole splitting up thing?”
Anne (Season Three)
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Angel – “I want to torture you. I used to love it, and it’s been a long time. I mean, the last time I tortured someone, they didn’t even have chainsaws.”
Becoming: Part Two (Season Two)
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Anya – “For God’s sakes Andrew, you’ve been in here for 30 minutes. What are you doing?”
Andrew – “Entertaining and educating.”
Anya – “Why can’t you just masturbate like the rest of us?”
Storyteller (Season Seven)
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Demon Guard – “Who are you?”
Buffy – “I’m Buffy. The Vampire Slayer. And you are…?
Anne (Season Three)
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Willow – “What’s his number? Oh yeah, 1-800-I’m-dating-a-skanky-hoe.”
Buffy – “Meow.”
Willow – “Really? I’ve never gotten a ‘meow’ before.”
Phases (Season Two)
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Buffy – “Amy! How’ve you been?”
Amy – “Rat. You?”
Buffy – “Dead.”
Amy – “Oh.”
Smashed (Season Six)
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Cordelia – “It must be hard when all your friends here have, like superpowers. Slayer, werewolves, witches, vampires, and you’re like this little nothing. You must feel like… Jimmy Olsen.”
The Zeppo (Season Three)
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Giles – “In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.”
Welcome to the Hellmouth (Season One)
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Xander (about Adam and Faith) – “I’d hate to see the pursuit of a homicidal lunatic get in the way of pursuing a homicidal lunatic.”
This Year’s Girl (Season Four)
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Cordelia Chase – “No way! I wish us into bizarro-land and you two guys are still together?”
The Wish (Season Three)
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Xander – “Angel’s a vampire. You’re a Slayer. I think it’s obvious what you have to do.”
Angel (Season One)
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Xander – “It’s a statistical impossibility for a sixteen-year-old to unplug a telephone.”
What’s My Line (Season Two)
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Xander – “Who’s a little fear demon? Come on, who’s a little fear demon?”
Giles – “Xander, don’t taunt it.”
Xander – “What, can it hurt me?”
Giles – “No, it’s just… tacky.”
Fear, Itself (Season Four)
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Buffy – “Cause I’ve had it. Spike is going down. You can attack me, you can send assassins after me, that’s fine. But nobody messes with my boyfriend.”
What’s My Line (Season Two)
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Mayor Richard Wilkins – “Well, what a day this is. A special day. Today is our centennial – the 100th anniversary of the founding of Sunnydale and I know what that means to all you kids… not a darn thing. Because today, something much more important happens – today you all graduate from high school. Today, all the pain, all the work, all the excitement is finally over. And what’s a hundred years of history compared to that?”
Buffy – “My God, he’s gonna do the entire speech!”
Willow – “Man, just ascend, already!”
Graduation Day: Part Two (Season Three)
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Angel – “Things used to be pretty simple. A hundred years, just hanging out, feeling guilty. I really honed my brooding skills. Then she comes along.”
Lie to Me (Season Two)
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Spike – “You’re supposed to kill her, not leave gag gift in her friends’ beds.”
Passion (Season Two)
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Willow – “Buffy, I gotta tell ya. I get it, now. The Slayer thing really isn’t about the violence. It’s about the power.”
Willow – “And there’s no one in the world who has the power to stop me now.”
Giles – “I’d like to test that theory.”
Two to Go (Season Six)
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Buffy – “I just had a bad day.”
Dawn – “Well, join the club.”
Buffy – “Can I be president?”
Dawn – “I’m president… You could be the janitor.”
No Place Like Home (Season Five)
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Big Ugly – “When I kill her, it’ll be the greatest event since the Crucifixion. And I should know. I was there.”
Spike – “You were there? Oh, please! If every vampire who said he was at the Crucifixion was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock.”
Big Ugly – “I oughta rip your throat out.”
Spike – “I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flower person, and I spent the next six hours watchin’ my hand move.”
School Hard (Season Two)
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Xander – “Buffy and Faith are in the library gettin’ all sweaty.”
Cordelia – “They’re training.”
Xander – “I stand by my phrase.”
Homecoming (Season Three)
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Larry – “Okay, the entire world sucks because some dead ditz made a wish? I just want to be clear.”
The Wish (Season Three)
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Giles – “I will be wearing pink taffeta, as the chenille does nothing for my complexion, and can we please talk about the Ascension?”
The Prom (Season Three)
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Ted Buchanan – “Beg to differ.”
Ted (Season Two)
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Cordelia – “Don’t let me interrupt. Wait. Let me interrupt. I’m in a hurry.”
Consequences (Season Three)
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Xander – “The Mayor’s going to kill us all during graduation.”
Cordelia – “Oh. Are you gonna go to fifth period?”
Xander – “I’m think I might skip it.”
Graduation Day: Part One (Season Three)
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Anya – “But I don’t understand! I don’t understand how this all happens, how we go through this, I mean I knew her and then she’s… there’s just a body, and I don’t understand why she just can’t get back in it and not be dead. It’s stupid, it’s mortal and stupid, and, and Xander’s crying and not talking and I was having fruit punch and I thought, well, Joyce would never have fruit punch ever and she’d never have eggs, or yawn, or brush her hair – not ever, and no one will explain to me why.”
The Body (Season Five)
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Buffy – “Strong is fighting. It’s hard and it’s painful and it’s every day. It’s what we have to do, and we can do it together, but if you’re too much of a coward for that, then burn.”
Amends (Season Three)
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Spike – “Yeah, I did a couple of Slayers in my time. I don’t like to brag.”
Spike – “Who am I kidding? I love to brag!”
School Hard (Season Two)
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Buffy – “Giles, we get it. Miles to go before we sleep.”
The Prom (Season Three)
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Giles – “Buffy no longer needs a Watcher.”
Cordelia – “Well, do he have to leave the country? I mean, you got fired and you still hang around like a big loser, why can’t he?”
Graduation Day: Part Two (Season Three)
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Buffy – “This isn’t your business. It’s mine. You, the Initiative, the suits in the Pentagon… you’re all messing with primeval forces you can’t begin to understand. I’m the Slayer. And you’re playing on my turf.”
Primeval (Season Four)
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The Cheese Man – “I wear the cheese. It does not wear me.”
Restless (Season Four)
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Giles – “’For three nights the unholy ones scourge themselves into a fury, um, culminating in a savage attack on the Night of St. Vigeous.’”
Xander – “Does anybody remember when Saturday night meant date night?”
Cordelia – “You sure don’t.”
School Hard (Season Two)
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Spike – “He’s got his crust all stiff and upper with that Nancy-boy accent. You Englishmen are all so… bloody hell… sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bullocks… oh no. I’m English!”
Tabula Rasa (Season Six)
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Buffy – “What are you doing here?”
Buffy – “Five words or less.”
Spike – “Out. For. A. Walk… Bitch.”
No Place Like Home (Season Five)
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Glory – “Funny, ‘cause I look around at this world you’re so eager to be a part of, and all I see’s six billion lunatics looking for the fastest ride out. Who’s not crazy? Look around – everyone’s drinkin’, smoking’, shootin’ up, shootin’ each other, or just plain screwing their brains out because they don’t want ‘em anymore. I’m crazy? Honey, I am the original one-eyed chicklet in the kingdom of the blind ‘cause at least I admit the world makes me nuts. Name one person who can take it here. That’s all I’m asking. Name one.”
Dawn – “Buffy.”
The Weight of the World (Season Five)
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Spike – “Do you know what I find works real good with Slayers? Killing them.”
School Hard (Season Two)
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Rupert Giles – “Buffy, maintaining a normal social life as a Slayer… i-i-is problematic at best.”
Buffy Summers – “This is the ’90s, the 1990s, in point of fact, and I can do both. Clark Kent has a job. I just want to go on a date.”
Rupert Giles – “Well, I suppose it was a fairly slim lead.”
Buffy Summers – “Thank you, thank you, thank you. And, look, I won’t go far, okay? If the apocalypse comes, beep me.”
Never Kill a Boy on the First Date (Season One)
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Buffy’s tombstone inscription – She saved the world a lot
The Gift (Season Five)
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Xander – “You’ve got to stop doing this. This dying thing is funny once, maybe twice…”
Villains (Season Six)
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Willow – “You can’t stop this.”
Xander – “Yeah. I get that. It’s just, where else am I gonna go? You’ve been my best friend my whole life. World gonna end, where else would I wanna be?”
Willow – “Is this the master plan? You’re gonna stop me by telling me you love me?”
Xander – “Well, I was gonna walk you off a cliff and hand you an anvil, but it seemed kinda cartoony.”
Willow – “Still making jokes.”
Xander – “I’m not joking… I know you’re in pain. I can’t imagine the pain you’re in. And I know you’re about to do something apocalyptically evil and stupid, And, hey, I still wanna hang. You’re Willow.”
Willow – “Don’t call me that!”
Xander – “The first day of kindergarten, you cried because you broke the yellow crayon and you were too afraid to tell anyone. You’ve come pretty far. Ending the world, not a terrific notion… But the thing is… yeah, I love you. I love crayon-breaky Willow and I love scary-veiny Willow. So, if I’m goin’ out, it’s here. If you wanna kill the world… well, then start with me. I’ve earned that.”
Willow – “You think I won’t?”
Xander – “It doesn’t matter. I’ll still love you.”
Grave (Season Six)
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Buffy Summers – “We haven’t been properly introduced. I’m Buffy, and you’re history!”
Never Kill a Boy on the First Date (Season One)
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Willow – “It’s really nice that you guys missed me. Say, you all didn’t happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya?”
Xander – “Will, we saw you at the Bronze… A vampire.”
Willow – “I’m not a vampire.”
Buffy – “You are. I-I mean you-you-you were… Giles, planning on jumping in with an explanation any time soon?”
Giles – “Well, uh, something… something, um, very strange is happening.”
Xander – “Can you believe the Watcher’s Council let this guy go?”
Doppelgangland (Season Three)
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Faith – “Thanks, Sugar Daddy.”
Mayor Richard Wilkins – “Now, Faith, I don’t find that sort of thing amusing. I’m a family man… Now, let’s kill your little friend.”
Doppelgangland (Season Three)
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Spike – “Oooh. Poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? ‘Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea…”
Bargaining: Part One (Season Six)
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Dawn – “Oh my God, you will never believe what happened at school today.”
Buffy – “Everybody started singing and dancing.”
Dawn – “I gave birth to a pterodactyl.”
Anya – “Oh my God! Did it sing?”
Once More, With Feeling (Season Six)
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Joyce – “I’m guessing I missed some fun.”
Willow – “The spirit of the First Slayer tried to kill us in our dreams.”
Joyce – “Oh. You want some hot chocolate?”
Restless (Season Four)
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Olaf (to Anya) – “You speak your mind, and are annoying.”
Selfless (Season Seven)
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The Master – “You’re dead.”
Buffy Summers – “I may be dead, but I’m still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you.”
The Master – “You were destined to die. It was written.”
Buffy Summers – “What can I say? I flunked the written.”
Prophecy Girl (Season One)
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Willow – “Willow doesn’t live here anymore.”
Grave (Season Six)
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Larry – “Man! Oz! I would love to get me some of that Buffy and Willow action, if you know what I mean.”
Oz – “That’s great, Larry. You’ve really mastered the single entendre.”
Phases (Season Two)
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Willow – “Have you Googled her?”
Xander – “Willow! She’s seventeen!”
Willow – “It’s a search engine.”
Help (Season Seven)
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Spike – “So, who do you kill for fun around here?”
School Hard (Season Two)
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Xander – “Okay, let’s not say something we’ll, uh, regret later, okay?”
Cordelia – “You crazy freak!”
Buffy – “Vapid whore!”
Xander – “Like that.”
Homecoming (Season Three)
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Andrew – “It eats you, starting with your bottom.”
Conversations with Dead People (Season Seven)
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Dawn – “We destroyed the mall? I fought on the wrong side.”
Xander – “All those shops gone… The Gap, Starbucks, Toys ‘R’ Us… who will remember those landmarks unless we tell the world of them?”
Chosen (Season Seven)
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Kennedy – “How’s evil taste?”
Willow – “A little chalky.”
Showtime (Season Seven)
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Buffy (to Angel) – “Are you gonna come by and get all Dawson on me every time I have a boyfriend?”
Chosen (Season Seven)
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Oz – “It’s not every day you find out that you’re a werewolf. That’s fairly freaksome. It may take a couple of days of getting used to.”
Willow – “Yeah. It’s a complication.”
Oz – “So… Maybe it’d be best if I just… sorta…”
Willow – “What?”
Oz – “Well, you know, like… stayed out of your way for a while.”
Willow – “I don’t know. I’m kind of okay with you being *in* my life.”
Oz – “You mean… you’d still…?”
Willow – “Well… I like you. You’re nice and you’re funny. And you don’t smoke. Yeah, okay, werewolf, that’s not all the time. I mean three days out of the month, I’m not much fun to be around either.”
Oz – “You are quite a human.”
Willow – “So… I’d still… if you’d still.”
Oz – “I’d still. I’d very still.”
Willow – “Okay… No biting, though.”
Phases (Season Two)
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Giles – “Could it possibly get uglier? I used to be a highly respected Watcher. Now I’m a wounded dwarf with the mystical strength of a doily.”
Chosen (Season Seven)
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Darla – “Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is?”
Buffy – “Bad hair on top of that outfit?”
Angel (Season One)
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Xander – “Dinner is served! My very own recipe.”
Willow – “You pushed the button on the microwave that says ‘popcorn’?”
Xander – “Actually, I pushed ‘defrost’, but Joyce was there in the clinch.”
Restless (Season Four)
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Buffy – “Yeah, well at least you all didn’t dream about that guy with the cheese…”
Restless (Season Four)
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And finally…
Giles – “The Earth is definitely doomed.”
Chosen (Season Seven)
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Thank you for stopping by It’s A Stampede! to read this post about the best Buffy the Vampire Slayer quotes. For more horror-related content, be sure to check out the recommended reads below.
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