In 1984, Ghostbusters burst onto cinema screens, bringing a mix of humour and horror to audiences. The movie was a huge success with cinema-goers, remains one of the best-loved movies of the 1980s, and spawned a long-running franchise.

One of the most celebrated aspects of the Ghostbusters movie franchise is its sharp, witty dialogue, which has resulted in a collection of memorable lines throughout the series. In this post I am looking at the best Ghostbusters lines, covering Ghostbusters (1984), Ghostbusters II (1989), and Ghostbusters (2016).

Advertisements

__

The best Ghostbusters movie quotes

Image: ©Columbia Pictures/Sony Pictures

Janine Melnitz – “Ghostbusters, what do you want?”

Ghostbusters (1984)

__

Janine Melnitz – “Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis?”

Winston Zeddemore – “Ah, if there’s a steady paycheck in it, I’ll believe anything you say.”

Ghostbusters (1984)

__

Louis Tully – “Your Honor, ladies and gentleman of the audience, I don’t think it’s fair to call my clients frauds. Sure, the blackout was a big problem for everybody. I was trapped in an elevator for two hours and I had to make the whole time. But I don’t blame them. Because one time, I turned into a dog and they helped me. Thank you.”

Egon – “Very good, Louis. Short, but pointless.”

Ghostbusters II (1989)

__

Gozer – “Are you a God?”

Dr. Raymond Stantz – “No.”

Gozer – “Then… DIE!”

Winston Zeddemore – “Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a god, you say “YES”!”

Ghostbusters (1984)

__

Peter Venkman – “Doh!”

Ray – “Re!”

Egon – “Egon!”

Ghostbusters II (1989)

Advertisements

__

Image: ©Columbia Pictures/Sony Pictures

Janine Melnitz – “You’re very handy, I can tell. I bet you like to read a lot, too.”

Dr. Egon Spengler – “Print is dead.”

Janine Melnitz – “Oh, that’s very fascinating to me. I read a lot myself. Some people think I’m too intellectual but I think it’s a fabulous way to spend your spare time. I also play racquetball. Do you have any hobbies?”

Dr. Egon Spengler – “I collect spores, molds, and fungus.”

Ghostbusters (1984)

__

Dr. Peter Venkman – “We’ve been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft’s okay! He’s a sailor, he’s in New York; we get this guy laid, we won’t have any trouble!”

Ghostbusters (1984)

__

Egon – “My parents didn’t believe in toys.”

Ray – “You mean you never even had a Slinky?”

Egon – “We had part of a Slinky. But I straightened it.”

Ghostbusters II (1989)

__

Dr. Peter Venkman – “This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.”

Mayor – “What do you mean, “biblical”?”

Dr. Raymond Stantz – “What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “Exactly.”

Dr. Raymond Stantz – “Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!”

Dr. Egon Spengler – “Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes…”

Winston Zeddemore – “The dead rising from the grave!”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!”

Mayor – “All right, all right! I get the point!”

Ghostbusters (1984)

Advertisements

__

Winston Zeddemore – “I’m Winston Zeddmore, Your Honor. I’ve only been with the company for a couple of weeks, but these things are real. Since I joined these men, I’ve seen shit that’ll turn you white.”

Ghostbusters (1984)

__

Prosecutor – “So, you’re saying that the supernatural is your exclusive province?”

Peter Venkman – “Kitten, I think what I’m saying, is that sometimes, shit happens, someone has to deal with it, and who ya gonna call?”

Ghostbusters II (1989)

__

Dana Barrett – “I want you inside me.”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “Go ahead! No, I can’t. It sounds like you’ve got at least two or three people in there already.”

Ghostbusters (1984)

__

Image: ©Columbia Pictures/Sony Pictures

Janosz – “Soon, the city will be mine and Vigo’s… mainly Vigo’s.”

Ghostbusters II (1989)

__

Peter Venkman – “You know, I have met some dumb blondes in my life, but you take the taco, pal! Only a *Carpathian* would come back to life now and choose New York! Tasty pick, bonehead! If you had brain one in that huge melon on top of your neck, you would be living the sweet life out in Southern California’s beautiful San Fernando Valley!”

Ghostbusters II (1989)

__

Winston Zeddemore – “I love this town!”

Ghostbusters (1984)

__

Dana Barrett – “Do you want this body?”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “Is this a trick question?”

Ghostbusters (1984)

__

Janosz – “Everything you are doing is bad. I want you to know this.”

Ghostbusters II (1989)

Advertisements

__

Dr. Raymond Stantz – “Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.”

Walter Peck – “They caused an explosion!”

Mayor – “Is this true?”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “Yes it’s true.”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “This man has no dick.”

Ghostbusters (1984)

__

Janosz – “Dana is no here.”

Peter Venkman – “Yeah, we know that.”

Janosz – “Then why are you came?”

Ghostbusters II (1989)

__

Image: ©Columbia Pictures/Sony Pictures

(Patty jumps into the mosh pit, but the crowd moves away, causing her to crash to the ground)

Patty Tolan – “Okay, I don’t know if it was a race thing or a lady thing, but I’m mad as hell.”

Ghostbusters (2016)

__

Dr. Raymond Stantz – “Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night?”

Dr. Egon Spengler – “Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “Have you or your family ever seen a spook, spectre or ghost?”

Dr. Raymond Stantz – “If the answer is “yes,” then don’t wait another minute. Pick up the phone and call the professionals…”

Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Dr. Peter Venkman – “Ghostbusters.”

Dr. Raymond Stantz – “Our courteous and efficient staff is on call 24 hours a day to serve all your supernatural elimination needs.”

Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Dr. Peter Venkman – “We’re ready to believe you.”

Ghostbusters (1984)

__

Patty Tolan – “Ah hell naw, the Devil is a liar! Get out of my friend, ghost! The power of Patty compels you!”

Ghostbusters (2016)

__

Patty Tolan – “That’s where I saw that weird sparking thing.”

Jillian Holtzmann – “What was it?”

Patty Tolan – “Baby, if I knew what it was, I wouldn’t have called it a ‘weird sparking thing’.”

Ghostbusters (2016)

Advertisements

__

Dr. Peter Venkman – “NOBODY steps on a church in my town.”

Ghostbusters (1984)

__

Elaine – “According to my source, the end of the world will be on February 14th, in the year two thousand and sixteen.”

Peter Venkman – “Valentine’s Day. Bummer. Where’d you get your date, Elaine?”

Elaine – “I received this information from an alien. As I told my husband, it was in the Paramus Holiday Inn, I was having a drink at the bar, alone, and this alien approached me. He started talking to me. He bought me a drink, and then I think he must have used some kind of a ray or a mind control device because he forced me to follow him to his room and that’s where he told me about the end of the world.”

Peter Venkman – “So, your alien had a room at the Holiday Inn, Paramus?”

Elaine – “It could have been a room on the spaceship made to look like the hotel. I can’t be sure about that, Peter.”

Ghostbusters II (1989)

__

Image: ©Columbia Pictures/Sony Pictures

Jennifer Lynch – “She thinks it’s a sliding door. She thinks they’re all doors. That’s sad – she’s a scientist.”

Ghostbusters (2016)

__

Louis Tully – “I think you guys are making a big mistake. I do mostly tax law and probate stuff occasionally. I got my law degree at night school.”

Ray – “Well, that’s fine, Louis. We got arrested at night.”

Ghostbusters II (1989)

__

Patty Tolan – “I guess he’s going to Queens – he’s going to be the third scariest thing on that train.”

Ghostbusters (2016)

__

Dr. Peter Venkman – “Grab your stick!”

Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore – “HOLDIN’!”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “Heat ’em up!”

Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore – “SMOKIN’!”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “Make ’em hard!”

Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore – “READY!”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “Let’s show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown… THROW IT!”

Ghostbusters (1984)

__

Patty Tolan – “I heard something really weird, what’s ‘Zuul’?”

Ghostbusters (2016)

__

Peter Venkman – “Next week on “World of the Psychic”. Hairless cats… weird.”

Ghostbusters II (1989)

__

Dr. Peter Venkman – “He slimed me.”

Ghostbusters (1984)

__

Peter Venkman – “Hi, Egon. How’s school? I bet those science chicks really dig that large cranium of yours, huh?”

Egon – “I think they’re more interested in my epididymis.”

Ghostbusters II (1989)

Advertisements

__

Image: ©Columbia Pictures/Sony Pictures

Dr. Egon Spengler – “There’s something very important I forgot to tell you.”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “What?”

Dr. Egon Spengler – “Don’t cross the streams.”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “Why?”

Dr. Egon Spengler – “It would be bad.”

Ghostbusters (1984)

__

Agent Hawkins – “Do you have any idea how many federal regulations you are breaking on a daily basis?”

Jillian Holtzmann – “One?”

Agent Rorke – “No.”

Jillian Holtzmann – “Two?”

Agent Rorke – “No.”

Jillian Holtzmann – “Is it one?”

Ghostbusters (2016)

__

Janosz – “He is Vigo! You are like the buzzing of flies to him!”

Ghostbusters II (1989)

__

Jillian Holtzmann – (Holstering her proton thrower) “Forgot about my new toys.”

Jillian Holtzmann – (Twin pistol-sized throwers emerge from Holtzmann’s pack. She licks one) “Let’s go.”

Ghostbusters (2016)

__

Peter Venkman – “Suck in the guts, guys, we’re the Ghostbusters.”

Ghostbusters II (1989)

__

Ray – “Two in the box.”

Egon – “Ready to go.”

Peter Venkman – “We be fast.”

Ray, Egon, Peter Venkman – “They be slow.”

Ghostbusters II (1989)

__

Dr. Peter Venkman – “Alice, I’m going to ask you a couple of standard questions, okay? Have you or any of your family been diagnosed schizophrenic? Mentally incompetent?”

Alice the Librarian – “My uncle thought he was Saint Jerome.”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “I’d call that a big yes. Uh, are you habitually using drugs? Stimulants? Alcohol?”

Alice the Librarian – “No.”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “No, no. Just asking. Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?”

Library Administrator – “What has that got to do with it?”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “Back off, man. I’m a scientist.”

Ghostbusters (1984)

__

Peter Venkman – “Viggy, Viggy, Viggy, you have been a bad monkey!”

Ghostbusters II (1989)

__

Jillian Holtzmann – “Come out, come out, wherever you are…”

Ghostbusters (2016)

Advertisements

__

Janosz – “This is Prince Vigo, the ruler of Carpathia and Moldavia.”

Peter Venkman – “Bit of a sissy, isn’t he?”

Janosz – “He was a very powerful magician, Dr. Venkman. And, a genius in many ways.”

Dana – “He was also a lunatic and a genocidal madman. I hate this painting.”

Ghostbusters II (1989)

__

Jillian Holtzmann – “You just got Holtzmanned, baby!”

Ghostbusters (2016)

__

Abby Yates – “We just gave a ghost a nuke, we should probably run.”

Ghostbusters (2016)

__

Image: ©Columbia Pictures/Sony Pictures

Gozer – “The Choice is made!”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “Whoa! Ho! Ho! Whoa-oa!”

Gozer – “The Traveller has come!”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “Nobody choosed anything!”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “Did you choose anything?”

Dr. Egon Spengler – “No.”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “Did YOU?”

Winston Zeddemore – “My mind is totally blank.”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “I didn’t choose anything…”

Dr. Raymond Stantz – “I couldn’t help it. It just popped in there.”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “What? WHAT “just popped in there?””

Dr. Raymond Stantz – “I… I… I tried to think…”

Dr. Egon Spengler – “LOOK!”

Dr. Raymond Stantz – “No! It CAN’T be!”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “What is it?”

Dr. Raymond Stantz – “It CAN’T be!”

Dr. Peter Venkman – “What did you DO, Ray?”

Winston Zeddemore – “Oh, shit!”

Dr. Raymond Stantz – “It’s the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.”

Ghostbusters (1984)

__

Jillian Holtzmann – “Ma’am, can you tell us where you got the world’s tiniest bowtie?”

Erin Gilbert – “Uh, it came with the shirt.”

Ghostbusters (2016)

__

Abby Yates – “I will kick the unliving crap out of you, and you…”

(Points at Slimer)

Abby Yates – “…and especially you!”

Ghostbusters (2016)

__

Kevin – “Would it be okay if I bring Mike Hat to work sometimes? He has major anxiety problems.”

Abby Yates – “You know what? I would love to let your cat live here with you, but I have a pretty severe cat allergy.”

Kevin – “Oh, I don’t have a cat. He’s a dog. His name’s Mike Hat.”

Abby Yates – “Your dog’s name is Mike Hat?”

Kevin – “Mike Hat.”

Erin Gilbert – “Your dog’s name is Mike, last name Hat?”

Kevin – “Well, his full name is Michael Hat.”

Abby Yates – “I can’t say that I’m allergic to dogs… so.”

Kevin – “You know, it’s all right. He lives with my mum.”

Ghostbusters (2016)

__

Erin Gilbert – “Why am I operating the untested nuclear laser?”

Jillian Holtzmann – “You have the longest arms.”

Ghostbusters (2016)

__

Image: ©Columbia Pictures/Sony Pictures

Peter Venkman – “Have you been outside lately? Do you know how weird it is out there? We’ve taken our own head count. There seem to be six million completely miserable assholes living in the tri-state area.”

Hardemeyer – “Oh, please!”

Peter Venkman – “Excuse me, six million and one.”

Ghostbusters II (1989)

Advertisements

__

Dana Barrett – “There is no Dana, there is only Zuul.”

Ghostbusters (1984)

__

Kevin – “You know, an aquarium is a submarine for fish.”

Ghostbusters (2016)

__

Vigo – “Death is but a doorway, time is but a window, I’ll be back.”

Ghostbusters II (1989)

__

Jillian Holtzmann – “You guys, this is exactly how I pictured my death!”

Ghostbusters (2016)

Advertisements

__

And finally….

Image: ©Columbia Pictures/Sony Pictures

Dr. Peter Venkman – “We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!”

Ghostbusters (1984)

Advertisements

__

If you’re a fan of the Ghostbusters movie series (and who isn’t?), then you may wish to know that a book is currently available which celebrates Ghostbusters art.

The book, Ghostbusters: Artbook, is a 192-page hardcover tome, which includes a collection of artwork inspired by the GB franchise.

Over 250 illustrations are featured in the book, with artists taking inspiration from the movies, cartoons, comics and more.

Ghostbusters: Artbook is available from all good book stockists, including Amazon UK.

__

Thank you for taking the time to read this post about the best Ghostbusters movie quotes on It’s A Stampede!. For more movie-related content, be sure to check out the recommended reads below.

Read more:

Advertisements
Advertisements

Disclaimer: I earn a commission for products purchased through some links in this article.