Welcome to 50 first times. For those who came in late, I’m working my way through 50 previously unseen movies, watching good films, bad films, forgotten classics, Oscar winners and everything in between.

The rules are as follows:

  • The film I watch has to be something new (for me)
  • The film can be from any decade/genre

Today I’m watching…

Trilogy of Terror (1975)

Trilogy of Terror has been on my ‘watch list’ for some time now, yet I’ve never found the right opportunity to watch it. And this is mostly because it never pops up on television in the UK and I never seem to see it on a streaming service. Until now.

Today, while searching for a different movie, I stumbled across Trilogy of Terror on Amazon Prime Video. Rather than bypass this opportunity to finally give the film a watch, I have decided to jump right in and replace my planned film for today with this one!

I’ll be honest, I know very little about Trilogy of Terror, other than the fact it was produced for television and is composed of three short stories. However, I’ve heard it is a good movie and certainly worth…

*Looks up running time*

…one hour and 12 minutes of my time.

Wow – is it only one hour and 12 minutes? That’s great – my attention span is one hour and 13 minutes, so watching this movie will be a breeze.

Right, time to see what Trilogy of Terror is all about.

*Clicks play*

Image: ©ABC

1mins – OK, so this first short is called ‘Julie‘.

5mins – The premise here is that a student is trying to win the affections of his teacher. I should add that the student is creepy.

7mins – The student has convinced the teacher to go on a date with him. I have no idea why she’s agreed to it as he is a real slime ball.

7mins 10secs – Do people still use the phrase, ‘slime ball’?

8mins – The student and the teacher are on a date. He’s going to put the moves on her in 3… 2… 1…

8mins 30secs – Alert! Alert! The creepy student has put something in the teacher’s drink. This won’t end well.

10mins – It was a drug of some kind and now the teacher has passed out.

11mins 30secs – After taking the drugged teacher to a hotel room, the creepy student is photographing her… and is about to rape her.

16mins – The student has shown the photos to the teacher and is now trying to blackmail her. What a little sh*t.

I am going to presume that this guy will gets his comeuppance. Hopefully his willy will drop off.

20mins – The creepy student is continuing to blackmail the teacher and is making her go to his house. I shall say it again, this guy is a slime ball.

22mins – Oh…

23mins – So, the teacher has just poisoned the student! She has also set fire to his apartment to destroy the evidence of his murder.

24mins – This was her plan all along?

Really?

Hmm…

25mins – As this first short comes to an end, it is revealed that the teacher has been manipulating the student this whole time. She made him become infatuated with her, and apparently she’s done this before with many students.

But why?

*Presses pause*

Erm… Why would she do this? Does she want something from all these students? Is she trying to procreate? Does she simply find this fun? I feel this ending needs a better explanation.

Anyone who is familiar with the TV series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer will recall an episode in which Xander falls in love with his teacher, who also happens to be a praying mantis. The praying mantis teacher tries to manipulate Xander into sleeping with her, in order to reproduce.

While the concept of a praying mantis-lady was pretty far-fetched (even for Buffy), the story made sense as there was a clear motive behind the teacher’s actions. However, the teacher in Trilogy of Terror doesn’t provide a clear motive, and that’s a real shame.

Am I being too harsh?

Maybe.

Anyway, let’s see what story No. #2 brings…

*Presses play*

Image: ©ABC

26mins – This second short is called ‘Millicent and Therese‘.

31mins – Here we have a tale of two sisters.

34mins – What I’m getting from this story is that one sister is uptight and repressed, while the other sister is… erm… loose. #Slutty

40mins – There appears to be a hatred between the two sisters, but I’m noticing something here that could be important. The two sisters have not appeared on screen together. Is this really a story about two sisters?

44mins – One of the sisters has just killed the other.

45mins – I knew it! This isn’t a story about two sisters; it’s about one woman with multiple personality disorder!

*Presses pause*

OK, so I guessed the twist in this story, but it still played out well. It felt very short, but it was effective.

Now onto the final story…

*Presses play*

Image: ©ABC

46mins – This last story is called ‘Amelia‘.

47mins – This is a story about a scary doll. Whatever happens, I’m already sold on this tale.

50mins – So, a woman has bought a fetish doll.

51mins – The woman who bought the doll is of the understanding that the doll has a spirit living inside it.

And this doesn’t bother her at all?

NOT.

AT.

ALL.

51mins 10secs – Clearly this doll is going to come alive and kill her, and who will she blame? The retailer!

51mins 20secs – I’m telling you, this is the type of person who buys a killer doll on Amazon then leaves sh*tty comments on the customer review section that say something like:

“I recently purchased a possessed doll from Amazon. Although the doll was titled ‘Possessed Killer Doll’ and came with a 78-page booklet warning me that the doll would kill me, I didn’t expect it to come to life and attempt to kill me.

“I presumed that ‘Possessed Killer Doll’ was just a name. I think this should have been made much clearer on the description. And no, before you ask, I did not read the description. I don’t have time to read descriptions – I’m too busy!

“I’m so busy that I don’t really have time to write out this ‘review’. In fact, I’m angry that I am having to type out these words, when you should instantly know that I have a problem.

“Basically, I am very unhappy with this product and the service that has been provided. I expect a full refund. Now.

And I’m not alone – the doll thinks this whole situation is bang out of order too. If you don’t believe me, ask him yourself.

“If I don’t get a refund and a letter of apology, signed in blood and sent to me via carrier pigeon, then I will be forced to cancel my subscription. Don’t make me do this. Don’t you make me do this!!!

Furthermore, the doll is very close to cancelling his subscription too. He said, as soon as he’s finished binge watching The Man in the High Castle he’s done with you guys. DONE!

“Now, where’s my refund?”

57mins – So, not surprisingly, the doll has come to life and the woman can’t find it.

LOOK UNDER THE SOFA!

58mins 50secs – Oh, she’s found it! Or rather, it’s found her!

59mins – The doll is attacking the woman. This is pretty scary stuff.

1hr 6mins – After a fair bit of back-and-forth between the woman and the doll, the doll is now being slowly cremated in the woman’s oven.

I’m telling you now, she’s going to regret that. It’s going to be a bugger to clean that oven.

I dropped a fish finger in mine last week and it took me days to scrape it off the bottom of the oven. How does she expect to get the charred remnants of a possessed doll out of hers?

1hr 9mins – Oh, it doesn’t matter. The spirit has now possessed the woman. I bet she’ll blame Amazon for this little problem too!

*Presses stop*

Putting aside my criticism regarding the ending to the first tale, I must admit that Trilogy of Terror was hugely entertaining. For a TV movie with a limited budget, the film provided three interesting stories, with each proving to be better than the one that came before.

Amelia was the best of the bunch, and clearly influenced the likes of Gremlins (1984) and Child’s Play (1988), but all of the stories had their own unique charm.

Recommended!

If you want to check out my posts on other previously unseen films then dive into Rob Zombie’s 31 (2016)Chef (2014)High Noon (1952)Xanadu (1980)When A Stranger Calls (1979),  The Sitter (1977)A Night at the Roxbury (1998)The Dark Crystal (1982)Starchaser: The Legend of Orin (1985),  Super (2010)When Harry Met Sally (1989)What We Do in the Shadows (2014)Shin Godzilla (2016), and Road House (1989).