Welcome to 90 from the ‘90s; the movie-related post in which I watch, discuss and debate a film from the 1990s – a film that I’ve NEVER SEEN. Tonight’s second entry in 90 from the ’90s (after the snooze-fest of Under Seige 2) is…
I know nothing about this movie. I believe it’s a thriller of some kind, but beyond that I have no idea.
Fear wasn’t originally on my list, but I came across a post about it earlier today, so thought I’d give it a watch. To preserve the mystery of the movie, I didn’t read the post, I merely used it as inspiration for this viewing.
Let’s see what it’s all about…
*Clicks the play button*
3mins – According to the onscreen titles, this film has a pretty decent/well-known cast, which includes William Petersen, Reese Witherspoon, Alyssa Milano and Mark Wahlberg. With this cast, why have I not heard of this movie?
7mins – Reese Witherspoon and Alyssa Milano are best friends -’90s style! Basically, they hang around together, never seem short of cash and go to a bunch of parties that are a hotbed of sin and debauchery. Man, I miss the ’90s.
12mins – Mark Wahlberg has just turned up at the same party that Reese Witherspoon & Alyssa Milano are at. He’s coming off as a mix of cute ‘n’ creepy. He’s going to turn out to be a nut, isn’t he?
12mins 30secs – £10 says they sleep together. £20 says it ends badly. £30 says he kills at least one person.
13mins – The party has been broken up by the cops. Witherspoon and Wahlberg are splitting, so they don’t get busted.
17mins – Reese Witherspoon seems to be so smitten by Mark Wahlberg that she’s totally forgotten about Alyssa Milano.
17mins 30secs – For all she knows, Milano could be banged up in a cell alongside pimps and hookers!
22mins – No, it’s fine – Milano is in a bar with some bloke. She doesn’t give two shits either – she’s snogging him.
24mins – Mark Wahlberg is trying to get in with the family. He’s cranking up the charm. I’m telling you, he’s totally gonna turn out to be a nut.
27mins – You can tell this film was made in 1996; the music feels like it has been ripped out of an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
28mins – Ha! The music playing now is Wild Horses, which DID feature on the soundtrack to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This is so ’96, I’m amazed a Spice Girl hasn’t popped up yet.
28mins 45secs – Oh… Mark Wahlberg appears to be… erm…
…how do I say ‘fingering Reese Witherspoon on a rollercoaster’, without actually using that phrase?
Well, Wahlberg appears to be making her happy anyway.
30mins – Alyssa Milano is snogging some bloke again. Is this all she gets to do in this movie?
34mins – Mark Wahlberg has just told Reese Witherspoon that he loves her. DON’T TRUST HIM. He’s a player. That’s what men do. The next thing you know, you’ll be on a rollercoaster with his wandering hands. Oh wait, you’ve already been there.
35mins – And now he’s just gone full-on psycho! I said he was a nutcase.
46mins – Mark Wahlberg is still trying to convince Reese Witherspoon he’s not a creepy weirdo. Unfortunately he’s doing the one thing that he shouldn’t do right now – he’s being a creepy weirdo.
54mins – This movie has a Fatal Attraction/Single White Female/The Hand That Rocks the Cradle vibe going on. Basically it’s all those films, but for a teen audience. It’s not awful, but…
…hang on a minute…
…are they playing Wild Horses again?! Talk about revisiting old ground. What’s next – another scene of Alyssa Milano snogging some bloke?
Speaking of which, where has Alyssa Milano gone? She’s not been in this for a while.
56mins – Oh there she is. And… oh my… she’s screwing Mark Wahlberg! Well, there goes that very tenuous friendship. The Witherspoon/Milano party days are over.
1hr 9mins – Mark Wahlberg has gone full psychopath again.
1hr 18mins – SHIT! There is a dead dog. A DEAD DOG! Mark Wahlberg (and his pals) have just killed a dog. This is not acceptable. I wont forgive you for this, Wahlberg! That dog was just one day away from retirement.
1hr 19mins – This film has suddenly become a home invasion thriller, making it a little more interesting. I did not see this coming.
1hr 28mins – Since seguing into a home invasion movie this film has significantly improved. I could still predict the ending, but the journey there is now worth watching.
1hr 30mins – Reese Witherspoon has just stabbed Mark Wahlberg. I sense a dramatic finale is coming.
1hr 31mins 45secs – William Petersen just threw Mark Wahlberg out of a window and BAM – he’s dead! Not going to lie, that was a pretty dramatic finale.
1r 32mins – And as the movie concludes, Reese Witherspoon and Alyssa Milano contemplate how they are going to rebuild their friendship… now that they have both screwed the same overbearing, dog-killing, deceased whack-job. These teen romances, eh?
For a film I knew nothing about, and hadn’t heard of before today, Fear wasn’t bad. Wahlberg was suitably menacing and the final 10-15 minutes were pretty entertaining.
Sure, it was highly derivative and I’ll never watch it again, but at just over 90 minutes it didn’t wear out its welcome. Considering some of the dross I’ve watched over the past year, this earns the movie a pass.
OK, so that’s 76 movies checked off my list, which leaves just 14 to go.
For past entries in the 90 from the ’90s series, check out: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996), Sudden Death (1995), Balto (1995), Another 48 Hours (1990), What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? (1993), Saving Private Ryan (1998), Reservoir Dogs (1992), Flubber (1997), The Big Lebowski (1998), FernGully: The Last Rainforest (1992), Free Willy (1993), The People vs. Larry Flynt (1996), Air Bud (1997), Robin Hood (1991), Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (1999), Hercules and Xena: The Battle for Mount Olympus (1998), Fried Green Tomatoes (1991), We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story (1993), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), F/X2: The Deadly Art of Illusion (1991), Teaching Mrs. Tingle (1999), Showgirls (1995), American History X (1998), North (1994), Jack Frost (1998), Psycho (1998), A League of Their Own (1992), Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992), Patch Adams (1998), My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997), Memoirs of an Invisible Man (1992), You’ve Got Mail (1998), Sleepless in Seattle (1993), Graveyard Shift (1990), Johnny Mnemonic (1995), Striptease (1996), Indecent Proposal (1993), My Girl 2 (1994), The Ghost and the Darkness (1996), Poison Ivy (1996), Body of Evidence (1993), Turbulence (1997), Fatal Instinct (1993), True Romance (1993), Newsies (1992), Contact (1997), The Pelican Brief (1993), Natural Born Killers (1994), Shakespeare in Love (1998), A Perfect Murder (1998), Quigley Down Under (1990), Of Mice and Men (1992),Friday (1995), Mannequin on the Move (1991), She’s All That (1999), Double Dragon (1994), Stay Tuned (1992), Murder at 1600 (1997),Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), My Own Private Idaho (1991), Wagons East (1994), In the Line of Fire (1993), Postcards from the Edge (1990), Universal Soldier (1992), Passenger 57 (1992), Mo’ Better Blues (1990), The Client (1994), Good Will Hunting (1997), Pump Up the Volume (1990), Mr. Nanny (1993), Fargo (1996), Hudson Hawk (1991), So I Married An Axe Murderer (1993) and Timecop (1994).