Welcome to 90 from the ‘90s; the movie-related post in which I watch, discuss and debate a film from the 1990s – a film that I’ve NEVER SEEN. Posting on a semi-regular basis, I aim to work my way through 90 movies that I’ve previously missed/avoided, recording my thoughts along the way.

I’m going to watch good films, bad films, forgotten classics, Oscar winners and everything in between. Some of these films you’ll be surprised I’ve never seen, others you’ll completely understand why I’ve avoided them for 20+ years.

The rules are as follows:

  • The film must be from the 1990s (1990-1999)
  • The film must be a movie I’ve not watched before

Today’s unseen ‘90s movie is…

What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? (1993)

I have no idea what is eating Gilbert Grape. Maybe today is the day I find out.

Other than the title – a pretty distinctive title to be sure – nothing about this film has ever urged me to view it. Not the cast (Johnny Depp, Leonardo DiCaprio, Juliette Lewis); and not its awards (two for DiCaprio).

Ah well, let’s give it a go anyway.

*Clicks the play button*

3mins – Johnny Depp needs to stop mumbling over this narration – I can’t hear a bloody word he’s saying. Speak up, Depp. Speak up!

4mins – Four minutes in and I can see why Leonard DiCaprio won two awards for his role in this movie. He’s amazing.

7mins 30secs – You know, it would be an awesome twist if this turns out to be a monster movie. Maybe a giant mutant worm is what’s eating Gilbert Grape?!

8mins 30secs – Oh look – it’s Mary Steenburgen!

9mins – Are Johnny Depp and Mary Steenburgen about to get it on?

10mins – Yep.

11mins – Ohhh… busted! Steenburgen’s husband has just turned up and got in the way of the Depp/Steenburgen shag-fest.

14mins – It’s still not clear as to what is eating Gilbert Grape. I don’t think it’s a giant mutant worm.

22mins – Steenburgen is after Depp again. Does this woman have no shame?!

28mins – In other news, I forgot to mention that John C. Reilly is in this movie. So, here goes: John C. Reilly is in this movie.

29mins – I wonder if Steenburgen will try it on with John C. Reilly?3

41mins – Hmm… I wonder if Mary Steenburgen is eating Gilbert Grape?

45mins – Just in case you’re wondering, I’m not eating Gilbert Grape. I’m currently eating a lasagne. It’s a cheap, frozen lasagne. It’s vile.

47mins – My husband has just walked into the room and has asked what I’m watching. I explained that I am watching What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?. He replied: “The comedian?”.I think he’s confusing Gilbert Grape with Gilbert Gottfried.

48mins – This movie would be a lot more exciting if it was called What’s Eating Gilbert Gottfried?

1hr 1min – I’m now around half-way through this movie. I can’t really say much has happened. It’s certainly not a terrible film – it’s just not that exciting either.

1hr 5mins – Leonardo DiCaprio has just been arrested for NOT eating Gilbert Grape. Oh wait, no, he got arrested for climbing up a water tower.

1hr 13mins – Mary Steenburgen’s husband is dead. I’m unsure if she’s upset about this or not. Apparently he drowned in a paddling pool. For my money, Steenburgen shagged him to death. That woman is insatiable.

1hr 23mins – Things just took another dark turn – Johnny Depp just hit Leonardo DiCaprio.

1hr 43mins – Depp has apologised. Oh good – things can only get better as I head into the final 15 minutes.

1hr 45mins – Oh crap – Depp/DiCaprio’s mother has just died and DiCaprio has just found her. 😦 This is not the ending I envisioned.

1hr 51mins – Blimey! Depp has just set fire to his own house!

1hr 52mins – And that’s pretty much the end of the film. Talk about finishing on a downer.

*Clicks stop*

Er… you might need to give me a minute so I can get over that ending.

*A minute passes*

And now you might need to give me another minute to get over that rubbish lasagne I ate earlier.

*Another minute passes*

And now one more minute while I pop to the loo.

*Another minute passes*

OK, I’ve composed myself.

Not a bad movie, but not something that really grabbed me either. Depp is pretty decent in this film, but this is Leonardo DiCaprio’s picture – it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t get top billing, he’s the star.

I can’t say I’d watch this film ever again, but it was fine I guess.

As for what’s eating Gilbert Grape? I still don’t know.

*Shrugs shoulders*

A flesh eating virus perhaps?

I’m past caring to be honest.

OK, so I’ve now watched 70 previously unseen movies from the 1990s, which means I only have 20 to go! But what will they be…?

For past entries in the 90 from the ’90s series, check out: Saving Private Ryan (1998), Reservoir Dogs (1992)Flubber (1997)The Big Lebowski (1998)FernGully: The Last Rainforest (1992)Free Willy (1993)The People vs. Larry Flynt (1996)Air Bud (1997)Robin Hood(1991)Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (1999)Hercules and Xena: The Battle for Mount Olympus (1998)Fried Green Tomatoes (1991)We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story (1993)Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)F/X2: The Deadly Art of Illusion (1991)Teaching Mrs. Tingle (1999)Showgirls (1995)American History X (1998)North (1994)Jack Frost (1998)Psycho (1998)A League of Their Own (1992)Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)Patch Adams (1998)My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997)Memoirs of an Invisible Man (1992)You’ve Got Mail (1998)Sleepless in Seattle (1993)Graveyard Shift (1990)Johnny Mnemonic (1995)Striptease (1996) Indecent Proposal (1993)My Girl 2 (1994)The Ghost and the Darkness (1996)Poison Ivy (1996)Body of Evidence (1993)Turbulence (1997)Fatal Instinct (1993)True Romance (1993)Newsies (1992)Contact (1997)The Pelican Brief (1993)Natural Born Killers (1994)Shakespeare in Love (1998)A Perfect Murder (1998)Quigley Down Under (1990)Of Mice and Men (1992),Friday (1995)Mannequin on the Move (1991)She’s All That (1999)Double Dragon (1994)Stay Tuned (1992)Murder at 1600 (1997),Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993)My Own Private Idaho (1991)Wagons East (1994)In the Line of Fire (1993)Postcards from the Edge (1990)Universal Soldier (1992)Passenger 57 (1992)Mo’ Better Blues (1990)The Client (1994)Good Will Hunting (1997)Pump Up the Volume (1990)Mr. Nanny (1993) Fargo (1996)Hudson Hawk (1991)So I Married An Axe Murderer (1993) and Timecop (1994).