Welcome to 90 from the ‘90s; the movie-related post in which I watch, discuss and debate a film from the 1990s – a film that I’ve NEVER SEEN. Posting on a semi-regular basis, I aim to work my way through 90 movies that I’ve previously missed/avoided, recording my thoughts along the way.
I’m going to watch good films, bad films, forgotten classics, Oscar winners and everything in between. Some of these films you’ll be surprised I’ve never seen, others you’ll completely understand why I’ve avoided them for 20+ years.
The rules are as follows:
- The film must be from the 1990s (1990-1999)
- The film must be a movie I’ve not watched before
Today’s unseen ‘90s movie is…
Teaching Mrs. Tingle (1999)
Until recently (when I started compiling a list of unseen ’90s movies) I totally forgot that Teaching Mrs. Tingle was a thing. I don’t know if that says something about the movie or about me, but it’s a film which I feel has slipped through the cracks of time.
That’s not to say I’m not familiar with it – I do know it is regarded as a black comedy which stars Katie Holmes and Dame Helen Mirren – but beyond that I know very little. I had opportunity to watch Teaching Mrs. Tingle on VHS when it came out back in 1999, but I passed and since then I’ve simply forgotten about it and no one has reminded me.
Is it supposed to be good? I have no idea!
It’s time to find out.
*Clicks the play button*
4mins – Molly Ringwald is in this?
4mins 40secs – And Michael McKean?! Oh, maybe this will be good.
5mins – So far, so very ’90s American high school comedy. In fact, if I didn’t know this movie was released in 1999 I’d guess it was a ’90s movie simply from the opening.
10mins – I love how all the kids in this high school are clearly in their 30s.
11mins – This film was released in 1999, so it would have been in production around the time the first season of Dawson’s Creek was airing. Katie Holmes was one of the lead stars of Dawson’s Creek, but I doubt she was a household name at this point.
11mins 20secs – Actually, come to think of it, was Katie Holmes a household name at any point before she married Tom Cruise in 2006? Her role in Batman Begins (2005) was significant, but even then I don’t think she became super famous, did she?
12mins – Sorry, just went off on a tangent about Katie Holmes.
20mins – Helen Mirren is playing a right bitch in this movie. I’ll be surprised if she doesn’t need a broomstick surgically removed from her butt by the end of the film.
28mins – Katie Holmes and her pals dislike Helen Mirren and may or may not have killed her.
30mins – How do you check if you’ve killed Helen Mirren? You strap her to a bed, apparently.
32mins – Leslie Ann Warren is in this movie and so far, she’s being wasted. Ugh.
35mins 30secs – Helen Mirren isn’t dead. She’s also not happy about being tied up. Can’t blame her really.
38mins – The premise of this whole film seems to be that Katie Holmes and her friends are keeping Helen Mirren tied up because she’s a bitch. Jeez, I hope there’s more to it than this – I’m already bored.
41mins – I noted at the beginning of this post that Teaching Mrs. Tingle was a black comedy. I’m now under the belief that I was clearly wrong as this film has been on for 41 minutes and I’ve yet to discover any humour. Maybe its hiding under the bed that Helen Mirren is tied to.
44mins – The writer/director of this movie – Kevin Williamson – wrote Scream (1996). How could he go from one of the defining horror movies of the ’90s to this? More importantly, where is his trademark self-referential dialogue?
48mins – Katie Holmes is worried she might go to jail. Oh Katie, jail is the least of your worries. In a few years time you’ll star in The Singing Detective (2003) – arguably one of the worst movies of the ’00s.
48mins 30secs – Anyone remember The Singing Detective? No? You know why? Because it was shit.
1hr 4mins – Helen Mirren must have loved shooting this movie. All she’s had to do so far is lie on a bed tied up!
1hr 4mins 30secs – I’m not suggesting Helen Mirren likes being tied up. I’m merely suggesting being sat on a bed for the majority of a movie shoot is nice work if you can get it. If there are any casting directors out there needing someone to lie on a bed, give me a call. Some days I can barely get out of bed – I’d be perfect for the role.
1hr 7mins – I could easily nod off right now. This film is a snooze-fest.
1hr 15mins – Sex scene alert! Erm… boring sex scene alert! I don’t know if it’s boring because it’s incredibly dull, or it’s boring because I watched Showgirls yesterday and by comparison this feels like I’m watching Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937).
1hr 15mins 30secs – Actually that’s a disservice to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, which is a great movie.
1hr 16mins – Also, there isn’t a sex scene in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, is there? Is there?
1hr 24mins – Helen Mirren is no longer tied to a bed. It’s probably for the best, I bet she’s bustin’ for a pee.
1hr 27mins 45secs – Oh dear, Helen Mirren has fallen down the stairs. This time she might actually be dead.
1hr 28mins – Nah, she’s fine. I’m not sure I am – I think I’m slipping into a coma.
Well, that was boring. Teaching Mrs. Tingle is a very, very dull movie.
I can’t say I was ever a fan of Dawson’s Creek, but even a rubbish episode of that show was infinitely more interesting than this film. I’d take an hour of Joey and Pacey fawning over each other than any more of this garbage.
Plus, what a waste of a really good cast!
Did I learn anything about Teaching Mrs. Tingle?
Yeah, it’s shit.
- Read: Part 55
For past entries in the 90 from the ’90s series, check out: Showgirls (1995), American History X (1998), North (1994), Jack Frost (1998), Psycho (1998), A League of Their Own (1992), Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992), Patch Adams (1998), My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997), Memoirs of an Invisible Man (1992), You’ve Got Mail (1998), Sleepless in Seattle (1993), Graveyard Shift (1990), Johnny Mnemonic (1995), Striptease (1996), Indecent Proposal (1993), My Girl 2 (1994), The Ghost and the Darkness (1996), Poison Ivy (1996), Body of Evidence (1993), Turbulence (1997), Fatal Instinct (1993), True Romance (1993), Newsies (1992), Contact (1997), The Pelican Brief (1993), Natural Born Killers (1994), Shakespeare in Love (1998), A Perfect Murder (1998), Quigley Down Under (1990), Of Mice and Men (1992),Friday (1995), Mannequin on the Move (1991), She’s All That (1999), Double Dragon (1994), Stay Tuned (1992), Murder at 1600 (1997),Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), My Own Private Idaho (1991), Wagons East (1994), In the Line of Fire (1993), Postcards from the Edge (1990), Universal Soldier (1992), Passenger 57 (1992), Mo’ Better Blues (1990), The Client (1994), Good Will Hunting (1997), Pump Up the Volume (1990), Mr. Nanny (1993), Fargo (1996), Hudson Hawk (1991), So I Married An Axe Murderer (1993) and Timecop (1994).