Welcome to 90 from the ‘90s; the movie-related post in which I watch, discuss and debate a film from the 1990s – a film that I’ve NEVER SEEN. Posting on a semi-regular basis, I aim to work my way through 90 movies that I’ve previously missed/avoided, recording my thoughts along the way.

I’m going to watch good films, bad films, forgotten classics, Oscar winners and everything in between. Some of these films you’ll be surprised I’ve never seen, others you’ll completely understand why I’ve avoided them for 20+ years.

The rules are as follows:

  • The film must be from the 1990s (1990-1999)
  • The film must be a movie I’ve not watched before

Today’s unseen ‘90s movie is…

Memoirs of an Invisible Man (1992)

Ah, Memoirs of an Invisible Man – a John Carpenter film that I always forget exists. I have a feeling John Carpenter likes to forget it exists too.

So, why have I never watched this film before today? Well, it’s supposed to be really bad, isn’t it?

I try my best to steer clear of the bad John Carpenter movies. That said, I’ve watched Ghosts of Mars (2001) so I’ll obviously watch any old shit.

As for what I know about this movie… er… not much actually. I know that Memoirs of an Invisible Man stars Chevy Chase, Daryl Hannah and Michael McKean and it’s supposed to be some kind of comedy (I believe), but beyond that, I know zilch!

So, will Memoirs of an Invisible Man make me laugh (for the right reasons) or will it reduce me to tears? It’s time to find out.

*Clicks the play button*

2mins 50secs – Chevy Chase is on screen. Or at least I think he is. I can’t actually see him, because he’s invisible. Hmm… so in actual fact, Chevy Chase isn’t on screen, but he is supposed to be on screen. It’s an invisible man thing. This scene is setting up the story, which presumably will be now told as one long flashback.

3mins – Cue flashback.

6mins – Michael McKean has turned up. I like Michael McKean – he makes everything watchable. I realise I may live to regret saying that.

6mins 40secs – Oh and now Daryl Hannah has turned up too.

8mins – A romance is developing between Chevy Chase and Daryl Hannah. No, seriously. Yeah, I don’t buy it either. Chevy Chase looks like a glue-sniffing used car salesman who is one day away from a nervous breakdown, while Daryl Hannah looks like… well, she looks like Daryl Hannah. I can buy into the idea that Chevy Chase will somehow turn invisible, but I simply can’t get on board the idea that Daryl Hannah would ever consider getting it on with Chevy Chase.

14mins – Some science-y stuff is happening now – it kind of feels like a scene out of a Sam Raimi Spider-Man movie. I presume this is how Chevy Chase becomes invisible. Either that or he’s about to turn into Doctor Octopus.

14mins 40secs – Ooohhh, Sam Neill has appeared on screen! Michael McKean and Sam Neill – how can this movie be anything other than awesome.

15mins – Yeah, I know I’m going to regret saying that too.

16mins – Chevy Chase is in a lab which has partially turned invisible. Chevy Chase is now invisible. Well, that was quicker than I expected.

20mins – I’m twenty minutes in and I’m still waiting for the comedy to kick in. I could be wrong – maybe this isn’t a comedy. But then why is Chevy Chase in this? Why did I think this was supposed to be a comedy? Is it? If it is, then it’s not funny.

21mins 30secs – With Chase now invisible, the movie is employing a technique whereby sometimes he can be seen (by the audience) and sometimes he can’t be seen and he’s just a voice over. I wonder if Chase gets paid more if he actually appears on screen? Either way, he’s at least getting paid something for NOT appearing on screen. Who signed off on that?

22mins – Hmm… I wonder if anyone would like to pay me for NOT appearing on screen? I’ve spent a long time not appearing on screen, so I think I’m due quite a bit of money. I accept Paypal and/or cold hard cash.

40mins – Chevy Chase is supposed to meet Daryl Hannah for a date, but he’s just stood her up. As if! She’d best not give him a second chance. I wouldn’t. To be fair, I wouldn’t have agreed to go on a date with Chevy Chase in the first place and I’ve been on a few dates with some right weirdos. During my pre-married days you understand.

45mins – I’m about halfway through this movie and I’m bored. There’s nothing particularly original going on here. The invisible gags are nothing revolutionary and Chevy Chase just isn’t doing it for me as a leading man. I do hope things pick up a little. PLEASE.

50mins – Sam Neill and Chevy Chase are having a bit of a face off. There’s talk about the idea that Chevy Chase could be some kind of secret assassin. Oh, maybe this is where the film starts getting exciting. Or funny.

52mins – Maybe not.

57mins – Chevy Chase is naked. This is neither funny or exciting. Is this what people wanted to see during the early ’90s? Naked Chevy Chase? Jeez, was this the height of comedy in 1992?

59mins – I DON’T GET THE POINT OF THIS MOVIE! ARGGGGHHHH! *#$S@!!!!

59mins 30secs – Apologies for that outburst there. I don’t know where it came from. I simply felt compelled to type those words. Chalk it up to frustration/anger/boredom etc.

1hr 6mins – Chevy Chase has finally gone all Claude Rains and is now wearing bandages. This is more like an invisible man. It’s just a shame that this isn’t as good as the 1933 movie, The Invisible Man.

1hr 6mins 30secs – The one thing I do like about this movie is the music. This is some good music. It doesn’t sound like Carpenter has done his own music, so who has provided the score? It sounds very familiar.

*Looks it up online*

Shirley Walker!

No way!

For those that don’t know, Walker composed the majority of the music for Batman: The Animated Series, which had (and still has) one of the best scores of any animated show. Walker was a fantastic composer – she passed away in 2006 – and if she was still working today, I have every belief that she would be scoring the big comic book movies or our age.

1hr 12mins – OK, so this scene is pretty cool. Daryl Hannah is painting Chevy Chase a new face. I’m not sure what paint she’s using, but he looks like a hooker! This is mildly amusing. This has elevated the film a little.

1hr 18mins – Chevy Chase and Daryl Hannah have just slept together. Oh FFS… forget what I said about the movie being elevated. There’s simply no way that I can sanction this. I don’t care if Daryl Hannah can’t see him, she still wouldn’t go near him.

*Yawn*

*Checks running time*

Oh, I’ve just had two very important thoughts. This movie is almost over!

My second thought? I was wondering what I am going to have for dinner.

1hr 26mins – So, the shadowy agency, overseen by Sam Neil, has captured Daryl Hannah in order to get their hands on Chevy Chase. But Chase is one step ahead of the agency and has disguised himself as a taxi driver in order to… oh… he’s pretending to be an Indian taxi driver. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no Chevy. Thank Zod you didn’t try and do an accent.

1hr 32mins – Chase is back to being invisible again (thankfully), so it’s time for another face off with Sam Neill. Is this the final face off? I hope so.

1hr 33mins – Chevy Chase has just faked his own death and everyone is buying it, presumably because they just want this movie to be over.

1hr 34mins – The credits are rolling. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was pleased about this.

1hr 35mins – During the credits: In a snow covered lodge somewhere far away from the city, Chevy Chase and Daryl Hannah are together. I really don’t know why. What does she see in him? Oh, yeah, she can’t see him. Maybe that’s how she finds him attractive – she think’s he’s someone else!

*Clicks stop*

Boring.

Very, very boring.

For a John Carpenter movie, Memoirs of an Invisible Man is very bland and it doesn’t feel like a Carpenter movie at all. It doesn’t feel like a good movie either – just a thing that takes up time.

The whole film is narrated by Chase as though it’s some kind of detective story, hence the ‘Memoirs‘ part of the title, but it just doesn’t work. Overall, a good cast, a great director and a fantastic composer come together for a waste of time.

Hmm… now what shall I have for dinner?

For past entries in the 90 from the ’90s series, check out: You’ve Got Mail (1998)Sleepless in Seattle (1993)Graveyard Shift (1990)Johnny Mnemonic (1995)Striptease (1996) Indecent Proposal (1993)My Girl 2 (1994)The Ghost and the Darkness (1996)Poison Ivy (1996)Body of Evidence (1993)Turbulence (1997)Fatal Instinct (1993)True Romance (1993)Newsies (1992)Contact (1997)The Pelican Brief (1993)Natural Born Killers (1994)Shakespeare in Love (1998)A Perfect Murder (1998)Quigley Down Under (1990)Of Mice and Men (1992), Friday (1995)Mannequin on the Move (1991)She’s All That (1999)Double Dragon (1994)Stay Tuned (1992)Murder at 1600 (1997), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993)My Own Private Idaho (1991)Wagons East (1994)In the Line of Fire (1993)Postcards from the Edge (1990)Universal Soldier (1992)Passenger 57 (1992)Mo’ Better Blues (1990)The Client (1994)Good Will Hunting (1997)Pump Up the Volume (1990)Mr. Nanny (1993) Fargo (1996)Hudson Hawk (1991)So I Married An Axe Murderer (1993) and Timecop (1994).