Welcome to 90 from the ‘90s; the movie-related post in which I watch, discuss and debate a film from the 1990s – a film that I’ve NEVER SEEN. Posting on a semi-regular basis, I aim to work my way through 90 movies that I’ve previously missed/avoided, recording my thoughts along the way.

I’m going to watch good films, bad films, forgotten classics, Oscar winners and everything in between. Some of these films you’ll be surprised I’ve never seen, others you’ll completely understand why I’ve avoided them for 20+ years.

The rules are as follows:

  • The film must be from the 1990s (1990-1999)
  • The film must be a movie I’ve not watched before

Today’s unseen ‘90s movie is…

Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

I have a confession. Not only have I never watched Sleepless in Seattle, I’ve also never watched its spiritual follow-up, You’ve Got Mail (1998). Can you guess what the next movie will be, after I watch this one?

So, why haven’t I watched Sleepless in Seattle?

Er… I’m going to blame Meg Ryan. Not because she has some kind of restraining order out on me, which stops me from watching her films, but because I don’t really care for her as an actress. Sorry, Meg.

I can’t say that Meg Ryan excites me in any way, shape or form, so I have little desire to watch Meg Ryan movies. I appreciate this is not a reason to overlook what could be a very good movie – I’m just telling you my reason as to why I’ve not seen Sleepless in Seattle before today.

As for what I know about this movie, well, I know it stars Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks; I know it’s a romantic comedy; and I believe Ryan and Hanks get together by the end of the movie. If they don’t, this will be a pretty shitty romantic comedy.

*Clicks the play button*

1min – Tom Hanks’s wife is dead. Bloody hell, I thought this was supposed to be a comedy! This is a brutal way to open a film. What’s next? Is his dog going to get run over?

7mins – Meanwhile… Meg Ryan is engaged to Bill Pullman, who is very much alive. Although he has many allergies and might not be long for this world. Is he going to die too?

7mins 10secs – Nah, this film can’t start with two deaths, can it? But if Pullman doesn’t die, then how do Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan end up getting it on? Oh… does Tom Hanks kill Bill Pullman? Does Meg Ryan then develop a bizarre relationship with Hanks, which ends up in a twisted love affair that keeps her awake at night? Have I just invented a new plot for this movie? Is this plot better than the one I’m watching? Hmm… not sure my theory is going to pan out.

16mins 30secs – Tom Hanks is on the phone to a radio call-in show, talking about his dead wife. Jeez, Tom, talk about bringing down the mood for everyone else. Couldn’t you just call in and request a song like the rest of us? Some people like to listen to the radio to relax, they don’t want to hear about your problems. Just request a song and move on. Oh and if you are requesting a song, can it be something by ABBA?

22mins – Rosie O’Donnell has just turned up. I did not know Rosie O’Donnell was in this movie. I presume O’Donnell is the person responsible for the comedy.

29mins – Tom Hanks is moping about (again), having visions of his dead wife. When’s the comedy going to kick in?

31mins – Tom’s friends want to find him a new wife, presumably so he’ll stop going on about the dead one. Hurry up lads, he’s boring the life out of me here.

31mins 50secs – I don’t think Tom’s friends need to worry about his love life, he’s just got home to find a shit load of letter’s have arrived from horny women around the country. They heard him on the radio, have clearly fallen for the ‘dead wife shtick’ and are now ready to meet up with him and/or have his babies. These are the sorts of women that marry murderers on death row or who try and take a full shopping cart through a ‘ten items or less’ counter. These women can not be trusted.

38mins – Apparently, Meg Ryan is one of those women too. She’s become obsessed with Tom Hanks after hearing him on the radio. I know Hanks has a nice voice, but does he really have the power to turn all these women on?

39mins – Hang on a minute, if Meg Ryan is falling for Tom Hanks over a radio broadcast does this mean she’s going to dump Bill Pullman? Poor Bill! Or possibly, poor Tom! As if it’s not bad enough that his wife has died (not sure if he/I have mentioned this), he’s now being stalked by a woman who is prepared to leave he fiancé for a stranger. What kind of love story is this?

51mins – Meg Ryan is trying to track down Tom Hanks. This woman is obsessed! I’m not sure I like where this movie is headed. Oh sure, this film wants you to think this is all very romantic, with Ryan searching out this mystery man, but she is clearly unhinged. This is what nutjobs do before they steal someone’s identity and commit credit card fraud. This isn’t a love story – this is Meg Ryan on her way to becoming a convicted felon.

1hr – I’m still waiting for the comedy to kick in.

1hr 4mins – Jeez, is there no stopping this woman? Meg Ryan has lied to Bill Pullman and is now on a plane to Seattle to hunt down Tom Hanks.

1hr 9mins – She’s found him and is now watching him from afar. Tell me this isn’t creepy?

Meg Ryan sleepless in seattle

Image: ©TriStar Pictures/Sony

1hr 9mins 50secs – Meg Ryan (to Rosie O’Donnell): “I watched him play with his son at the beach.” SOMEONE GET A RESTRAINING ORDER OUT ON THIS WOMAN! #LeaveTomAlone

1hr 11mins – Tom Hanks has just noticed that Meg Ryan is watching him. Quick Tom, run! RUN! Get away while you can. If you don’t run now you’re never getting away from this woman. She’ll move in, you’ll get married and then before you know it you’ll wake up in the middle of the night to find her standing over you with a knife. She’ll also delete all the programmes you’ve recorded, she’ll make you eat vegetables, tidy the house on a Sunday and she’ll get you signed up to a pilates class. That is, before she kills you and assumes your identity.

1hr 15mins 40secs – Tom Hanks: “She wants to meet me at the top of the Empire State Building.” Don’t do it, Tom! She’ll push you off.

1hr 27mins – So, Meg Ryan has been stalking Tom Hanks; Tom Hanks’s son wants his dad to get it on with Meg Ryan; and I’m still waiting for the comedy to kick in. Why do people like this movie?

1hr 29mins – There’s about 15 minutes to go and there’s one thing I’m very confused about (well, apart from the fact Sleepless in Seattle is known as a romantic comedy), how did this movie spawn You’ve Got Mail?! My understanding is that You’ve Got Mail was made because audiences liked Hanks and Ryan and they wanted to see them team up in another movie. That’s great and all, but the two actors have so far spent very little screen time together! In fact, they might as well be in a two separate movies! Who saw this film and thought, ‘oh, what wonderful chemistry these two actors have, let’s make some kind of follow up so we can put them back together again’?

1hr 30mins – Also, how am I to buy into the romance side of things when there’s zero chemistry between these two people?! The ‘chemistry’ between Anakin Skywalker and Padmé in Star Wars was more believable than this – and that’s saying something! Is Tom Hanks going to Force choke Meg Ryan. Is it that kind of movie?

1hr 30mins 30secs – So what’s going to happen between Meg Ryan and Bill Pullman?

1hr 31mins – Oh, Meg Ryan has just dumped Bill Pullman. Well, I’d say it’s a lucky escape for Bill.

1hr 37mins – Seven minutes to go and FINALLY, Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks are on screen together (if you don’t count all that stalking that took place earlier on). Something significant has to happen now…

1hr 37mins 30secs – …or maybe not.

1hr 38mins – I’m sorry, I do not buy this romance at all. Not one bit. These two people should not be together! SHE’S A STALKER!

1hr 39mins – Tom Hanks has just taken Meg Ryan’s hand and is walking off with her! WHAT?! I’ve waited the entire film for them to have this great love story and this is all I get, some hand holding?! I’ve seen more romance on episodes of The Golden Girls!

1hr 40mins – What a pile of crap.

*Clicks stop*

Erm…

OK, so Sleepless in Seattle isn’t terrible, but the love story just doesn’t work. Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks have zero chemistry; there’s no comedy in this ‘romantic comedy’ (there’s barely any romance); and at no point do I feel as though Tom Hanks has actually worked through his grief.

This movie would have been more believable if the dead wife had come back as a ghost and had possessed Meg Ryan!

Now that’s a movie I’d watch!

For past entries in the 90 from the ’90s series, check out: Graveyard Shift (1990)Johnny Mnemonic (1995)Striptease (1996) Indecent Proposal (1993)My Girl 2 (1994)The Ghost and the Darkness (1996)Poison Ivy (1996)Body of Evidence (1993)Turbulence (1997)Fatal Instinct (1993)True Romance (1993)Newsies (1992)Contact (1997)The Pelican Brief (1993)Natural Born Killers (1994)Shakespeare in Love (1998)A Perfect Murder (1998)Quigley Down Under (1990)Of Mice and Men (1992), Friday (1995)Mannequin on the Move (1991)She’s All That (1999)Double Dragon (1994)Stay Tuned (1992)Murder at 1600 (1997), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993)My Own Private Idaho (1991)Wagons East (1994)In the Line of Fire (1993)Postcards from the Edge (1990)Universal Soldier (1992)Passenger 57 (1992)Mo’ Better Blues (1990)The Client (1994)Good Will Hunting (1997)Pump Up the Volume (1990)Mr. Nanny (1993) Fargo (1996)Hudson Hawk (1991)So I Married An Axe Murderer (1993) and Timecop (1994).