Welcome to 90 from the ‘90s; the movie-related post in which I watch, discuss and debate a film from the 1990s – a film that I’ve NEVER SEEN. Posting on a semi-regular basis, I aim to work my way through 90 movies that I’ve previously missed/avoided, recording my thoughts along the way.
I’m going to watch good films, bad films, forgotten classics, Oscar winners and everything in between. Some of these films you’ll be surprised I’ve never seen, others you’ll completely understand why I’ve avoided them for 20+ years.
The rules are as follows:
- The film must be from the 1990s (1990-1999)
- The film must be a movie I’ve not watched before
Today’s unseen ‘90s movie is…
Graveyard Shift (1990)
I’ll admit this now, while I consider myself a horror movie buff, my knowledge of films based on Stephen King novels is severely lacking. Sure, I’ve watched the iconic King movies – ‘It‘ (1990/2017), Pet Sematary (1989), Cujo (1983), Christine (1983), Misery (1990), The Shining (1980), Stand by Me (1986) etc – but there are far more King adaptations out there that I’ve simply never seen.
Hey, I’m busy watching crap ’90s movies – I don’t have time for all the King films too!
Anyway, I’ve never watched Graveyard Shift and I know very little about this movie. Brad Dourif is in it, right?
Yeah, that’s the extent of my knowledge.
Let’s do this!
*Clicks the play button*
3mins – So the film is opening up in some kind of mill/factory. There are a lot of rats around this place. I’ll be honest, it does not look like a very sanitary working environment. I doubt this company offers sick pay or a dental plan. Or even a toilet that flushes.
3mins 30secs – Jeez, there really is a heck of a lot of rats and… oh… there’s been a death already. At least I know what I’m in for with this movie. It’s lucky I don’t have a fear of rats. Or death. Or shit working environments.
9mins – Brad Dourif has appeared and he’s playing an exterminator. Bloody hell, he wants to get himself over to that mill, he’ll be in work for years.
15mins – The mill is looking for new employees. David Andrews has just applied for a job and surprise, surprise, he’s got one! This is clearly not reflective of real life – where was the second interview?!
15mins 10secs – On a side note, this is the kind of place where you accept a job even though you know you’ll walk out after your first shift. We’ve all been there.
Employer: “Do you want a job? The hours are shit, you’ll be slumming it with rats and the toilet is on the blink, but it’s yours if you want it.”
Employee: “Er… I’m not sure it’s what I’m after – I’m looking for hours that fit around my college course, I’m not into rats and I really like pooping on company time.”
Employer: “You’re hired!”
Employee: “That’s great. I mean… what?!”
Employer: “You start tomorrow.”
The next day, you walk out at lunch time, flicking the ‘V’s up at Helen from Human Resources. Screw you, Helen. Screw you!
Meanwhile, back at the mill…
23mins – Brad Dourif is being very Brad Dourif-y. He’s just given a speech in the way that only Brad Dourif can – it’s really intense.
27mins – More rats. Oh and another death.
30mins – What does this mill produce exactly? Whatever it is, I’m starting to think that maybe the company should just switch to breeding rats. Either that or the company should just employ the rats.
40mins – This movie has been on for 40 minutes and not a lot has happened. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say this isn’t one of the good Stephen King adaptations.
43mins – Is this actually a horror movie or just an insight into bad management, poor working conditions and rat infestations. If I didn’t know any better I’d think this was a Channel 5 documentary or something.
45mins – Oooohhh…. The rats are gathering. I think another death is on the cards.
45mins 30secs – Yep, I was right. That’s death number three. How is this company still in business? More importantly, who thought this film could ever make money? It’s shit.
52mins – Another death has got to be on the horizon. Probably my own. I’ll die of boredom before this film ends.
55mins – Brad Dourif is on a rat hunt.
57mins – Yeah, he’s dead too.
58mins – As if the best thing about this movie has just been bumped off!
1hr – There’s approximately 25 minutes left in this movie and I’m still waiting for something interesting to happen. At the very least, I’d like to see the rats combine to form a super rat.
1hr 6mins – Just in case anyone is wondering, none of the staff at this mill are actually doing any work, they’re just fannying about looking for rats. I’m starting to think this isn’t a real company at all. Is this business some kind of front for a drugs operation? No? The company really is this shit? Oh.
1hr 9mins – Andrew Divoff (yeah, he’s in this movie too): “No more. No more.” Yeah, my sentiments exactly, Andrew.
1hr 10mins – There’s 15 minutes to go. Not that I’m counting down the minutes. Or the seconds.
1hr 11mins – A giant creature has just turned up. I presume it’s a rat. Please tell me that the rats really have merged together to form a super rat!
1hr 12mins – David Andrews: “We’re gonna make it.” Yeah, I fancy your chances more than mine right now, David. For me it’s touch and go.
*Checks watch again*
1hr 13mins – 13 minutes to go.
1hr 15mins – I’m not entirely sure this film makes any real sense. Just bring on the super rat!
1hr 16mins 30secs – Oh, it’s not a giant super rat at all, it’s a giant bat! Well, that makes… NO SENSE! What the hell is a giant bat doing in this mill? Is the bat an employee? What kind of benefits is the bat on? Did I actually switch over to a different (better) movie?
1hr 21mins 40secs – It would appear that it no longer matters what’s going on, as the giant bat is dead.
1hr 22mins – The rats seem happy that the bat is dead as they’re now feeding on it. Oh… and the movie has just ended. Guess the director must have blown the budget on that giant bat.
1hr 23mins – What a crock of… 💩
In case you had any doubts, I did not enjoy Graveyard Shift. In fact, I’d much rather work a graveyard shift (on Christmas Day) than watch this utter dross ever again.
Bobbins. Absolute bobbins.
Oh and… what the hell was that bat all about?!
- Read: Part 42
For past entries in the 90 from the ’90s series, check out: Johnny Mnemonic (1995), Striptease (1996), Indecent Proposal (1993), My Girl 2 (1994), The Ghost and the Darkness (1996), Poison Ivy (1996), Body of Evidence (1993), Turbulence (1997), Fatal Instinct (1993), True Romance (1993), Newsies (1992), Contact (1997), The Pelican Brief (1993), Natural Born Killers (1994), Shakespeare in Love (1998), A Perfect Murder (1998), Quigley Down Under (1990), Of Mice and Men (1992), Friday (1995), Mannequin on the Move (1991), She’s All That (1999), Double Dragon (1994), Stay Tuned (1992), Murder at 1600 (1997), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), My Own Private Idaho (1991), Wagons East (1994), In the Line of Fire (1993), Postcards from the Edge (1990), Universal Soldier (1992), Passenger 57 (1992), Mo’ Better Blues (1990), The Client (1994), Good Will Hunting (1997), Pump Up the Volume (1990), Mr. Nanny (1993), Fargo (1996), Hudson Hawk (1991), So I Married An Axe Murderer (1993) and Timecop (1994).