Welcome to 90 from the ‘90s; the movie-related post in which I watch, discuss and debate a film from the 1990s – a film that I’ve NEVER SEEN. Posting on a semi-regular basis, I aim to work my way through 90 movies that I’ve previously missed/avoided, recording my thoughts along the way.

I’m going to watch good films, bad films, forgotten classics, Oscar winners and everything in between. Some of these films you’ll be surprised I’ve never seen, others you’ll completely understand why I’ve avoided them for 20+ years.

The rules are as follows:

  • The film must be from the 1990s (1990-1999)
  • The film must be a movie I’ve not watched before

Today’s unseen ‘90s movie is…

Indecent Proposal (1993)

OK, so this is one of those movies that you would presume I would have watched by now, because a.) It’s a fairly well known film and b.) It has been on TV a number of times over the past 25 years. So what gives?

Well, first and foremost, Indecent Proposal falls into the category of ‘I was too young to watch this movie when it made its debut’. I would have been around 11/12 when the film hit cinema screens, so not only was I too young, I really had no interest in watching Demi Moore getting it on with Robert Redford.

Note: 25 years on and I’m still not sure I want to see Demi Moore get it on with Robert Redford.

The second reason as to why I’ve not watched Indecent Proposal is simply because it’s supposed to be pretty bad, right?

Well, now is the time to find out.

*Clicks the play button*

2mins – Demi Moore: “Someone once said: If you want something very badly, set it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, it was never yours to begin with.” Is this talking about homing pigeons?

2mins 30secs – We’ve entered flashback territory, where a young Demi Moore and a young Woody Harrelson are experiencing the first few flushes of love and… hang on. Wait. Stop the movie.

*Presses stop button*

In this flashback, Demi Moore and Woody Harrelson are supposed to be around 19 years’ old (ish). I’m willing to suspend disbelief to a certain degree, but they look like 30-year-olds pretending to be teenagers. I feel like I’m watching that episode of Friends where Joey thinks he can pass for 19!

*Presses play*

4mins – The flashback is over and Demi Moore has just told Woody Harrelson that she loves him. This can’t end well. She said the same thing to Patrick Swayze in Ghost and look what happened there.

10mins – Demi Moore and Woody Harrelson are broke and they’re on the verge of losing their house. So, they’re doing the thing that all broke people do, they’re gambling away their last few coppers at a casino.

12mins – Oh, here comes Robert Redford and he’s hitting on Demi Moore – even going so far as offering to buy her an expensive dress. Why does no one hit on me by offering to buy me things? I was in Asda today with nothing more to my name than 80 pence and and my boyish good looks (hey, I could have boyish good looks). Why did no one hit on me by offering to buy me a bottle of 7UP or something? Heck, I’d have settled for a small can of value cola.

15mins 30secs – Demi Moore has just told Woody Harrelson she loves him, again. Watch out Woody, you’re now likely to get killed in a mugging gone wrong.

16mins 30secs – There’s Demi there, sprawled out half-naked on a bed, surrounded by money. Yeah, we’ve all been there. We’ve all been sprawled out half-naked on a bed, surrounded by money. Well, I say surrounded by money. Truth is, it was empty crisp packets and I was half-naked because I’d not got up for three days. Still… it’s the same thing, right?

20mins – Woody and Demi have just put all of their casino winnings on Red. They should have picked black as they’ve lost everything. It’s these kind of situations that lead a person to spend three days in bed surrounded by crisp packets.

33mins – Even though both Demi and Woody have proved to be terrible at gambling, somehow Demi has now helped Robert Redford win big. As a way of saying thank you, Robert has bought Demi a $5,000 dress… oh and he’s offering to give Woody $1 million for a quick go on his wife.

34mins – This of course now presents Woody with a moral dilemma. On the one hand, if he agrees to the proposal, then he…

34mins 10secs – Oh who am I trying to kid? Take the money! Take the money! Robert Redford is offering you one million dollars! ONE MILLION DOLLARS. FROM ROBERT REDFORD! It’s not like it’s Freddy Krueger offering two nights in a sex swing for five quid and a bite of a Curly Wurly, it’s Redford.

*Realising his husband might be reading this*

Er… what I mean to say is, how dare he! How dare Robert Redford make such a disgustingly generous disgusting offer. It’s an insult. An outrage! I can’t believe it!

Hmm… Do you think he might buy me a 7UP if I flashed him one of my ankles?

47mins – So, Woody Harrelson has accepted the offer and has effectively sold Demi Moore into the sex trade. He’s now regretting his decision. Similar thing happened to me. I once sold my GameBoy Advance at a car boot sale for below the asking price and regretted it the very next day.

56mins – It’s the morning after. Did she sleep with him?

57mins – Yeah, she did.

59mins – Well, with $1 million dollars in the bank, Woody and Demi have a solution to all their money problems and can now make all the payments on their house. This is at least a silver lining, right?

59mins 30secs – Oh… they left it too long to make the payments and they’ve lost the house. I suppose things couldn’t get any worse.

1hr 5mins – Yeah, they got worse. Robert Redford has bought the house. Bugger.

1hr 8mins – For the moment there are bigger problems to contend with as Woody Harrelson is asking Demi Moore if Robert Redford was good in the sack? Er… not sure you want to go down that path, Woody. And anyway, why don’t you find out for yourself? Offer Robert Redford $1 million and see what he says.

1hr 18mins – Time has moved on, Demi Moore and Woody Harrelson have split up, Robert Redford is putting the moves on Demi (again) and I still don’t have a 7UP.

1hr 24mins – Demi Moore is now in some kind of relationship with Robert Redford, although I’m not completely on board with this. Meanwhile, Woody Harrelson seems to have spiralled into despair. I’d say he’s about two days away from the crisp packet scenario.

1hr 34mins – We’re now at the divorce stage. Oh and Billy Connolly has just popped up in a cameo role. He’s playing an auctioneer… selling animals? Oh, he’s getting rich people to bid on endangered animals. It’s all part of a conservation thing.

1hr 35mins – Robert Redford has just bid $50,000 on a hippo. Jeez, is he trying to sleep with that too?

1hr 36mins – It’s a moot point – Woody Harrelson has just bought the hippo for $1 million.

1hr 42mins – Buying a hippo seems to have worked. Moore suddenly wants Harrelson back!

1hr 43mins – To make the situation less awkward, Robert Redford has just made up a lie about trying this thing on with countless woman. Is it a lie, Robert? Is it? #Player Either way, Demi Moore is off!

1hr 46mins – With Robert Redford out of the picture, Demi Moore and Woody Harrelson are reunited. They’re broke and possibly homeless, but at least they’re now the proud owners of a $1 million hippo.

*Clicks stop*

That was nowhere near as bad as I was led to believe.

Sure, Indecent Proposal is not something I’d rush out to watch again in a hurry, but the premise was interesting and it didn’t bore me at all. Plus I liked the ending.

Right, I’m off to convince someone to buy me a can of 7UP. Or at the very least, a hippo.

For past entries in the 90 from the ’90s series, check out: My Girl 2 (1994)The Ghost and the Darkness (1996)Poison Ivy (1996)Body of Evidence (1993)Turbulence (1997)Fatal Instinct (1993)True Romance (1993)Newsies (1992)Contact (1997)The Pelican Brief (1993)Natural Born Killers (1994)Shakespeare in Love (1998)A Perfect Murder (1998)Quigley Down Under (1990)Of Mice and Men (1992), Friday (1995)Mannequin on the Move (1991)She’s All That (1999)Double Dragon (1994)Stay Tuned (1992)Murder at 1600 (1997), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993)My Own Private Idaho (1991)Wagons East (1994)In the Line of Fire (1993)Postcards from the Edge (1990)Universal Soldier (1992)Passenger 57 (1992)Mo’ Better Blues (1990)The Client (1994)Good Will Hunting (1997)Pump Up the Volume (1990)Mr. Nanny (1993) Fargo (1996)Hudson Hawk (1991)So I Married An Axe Murderer (1993) and Timecop (1994).