Welcome to 90 from the ‘90s; the movie-related post in which I watch, discuss and debate a film from the 1990s – a film that I’ve NEVER SEEN. Posting on a semi-regular basis, I aim to work my way through 90 movies that I’ve previously missed/avoided, recording my thoughts along the way.
I’m going to watch good films, bad films, forgotten classics, Oscar winners and everything in between. Some of these films you’ll be surprised I’ve never seen, others you’ll completely understand why I’ve avoided them for 20+ years.
The rules are as follows:
- The film must be from the 1990s (1990-1999)
- The film must be a movie I’ve not watched before
Today’s unseen ‘90s movie is…
Poison Ivy (1992)
I wish I could tell you that I was about to sit down to watch a movie about the Batman villain, Poison Ivy; but alas, I am not. Instead I’m about to watch a thriller starring Drew Barrymore, Sara Gilbert and Tom Skerritt, which has nothing to do with Batman.
What’s Poison Ivy about? I have no idea.
If I was to hazard a guess, I’d say that this is going to be a ‘sexy’ type of thriller about a girl (probably Barrymore) seducing a guy/guys. But I’ll be honest, it could be a 90 minute docu-film about the best way to treat rashes caused by poison ivy.
*Clicks the play button*
10secs – Some sexy sax music has just kicked in – I think we all know where this is going.
3mins 30secs – A dog has been hit by a car. 😦 The sexy sax music lied to me!
4mins – Drew Barrymore has just killed the dog with a pole, to put it out of its misery. Four minutes in and I’m not happy with the direction of this film.
18mins – Drew Barrymore is telling a story about her past – I get the feeling she’s lying.
19mins 30secs – Sara Gilbert and Drew Barrymore now live together and oh look, Tom Skerritt is wandering around in the background, with his eye on Barrymore. What’s that I hear? Is that the sexy sax music again? Either Skerritt and Barrymore are going to get it on, or Barrymore is going to hit him with a pole to put him out of his misery.
26mins – Drew Barrymore and Sara Gilbert are in the grottiest tattoo parlour ever. Seriously, I think I just caught something through my TV screen. Oh and now they’re having a bit of an argument. I’m starting to get a whiff of Single White Female about this film.
32mins – Yeah, Drew Barrymore has just told Sara Gilbert she loves her. This is not going to end well, is it?
42mins – The sexy sax music is back and it has been cranked up to 11. Tom Skerritt and Drew Barrymore are getting it on…
42mins 20secs – …and former Charlie’s Angels star, Cheryl Ladd has just walked in.
46mins – Four minutes on and Cheryl Ladd has nodded off. The sexy sax music is being turned back up again. Guess this means Barrymore and Skerritt are about to get it back on.
46mins 10secs – I should probably point out to those who read this feature on a regular basis, that I’m not currently going through a ‘sexy movie’ phase – I am aware that only yesterday I watched Body of Evidence, another erotic thriller. The truth is, Poison Ivy just happened to be next on my list for ’90s movies. Honest.
53mins – Sara Gilbert and Drew Barrymore are falling out with each other (again), mostly because Gilbert’s dog favours Barrymore over Gilbert. Someone should warn the dog about that incident with the pole from the start of the movie.
1hr – Tom Skerritt and Drew Barrymore are doing it. On the bonnet of a car. In the rain. The sax music has been pushed up to 13!
1hr 5mins – Shit. Barrymore has just pushed former Charlie’s Angels star, Cheryl Ladd off the balcony! There’s no coming back from that.
1hr 15mins – Barrymore and Gilbert are now in a car, there’s an argument and they’ve crashed. Yeah, this movie has gone into Single White Female territory, combined with Fatal Attraction.
1hr 21mins – Barrymore was in hospital, but is now heading home. Oh, I wonder what will happen next. I do hope she doesn’t walk in on anyone having sex.
1hr 22mins – Oh dear, Sara Gilbert has just walked in on Drew Barrymore and Tom Skerritt having sex. I’m not sure what freaking her out more – the fact that Skerritt is shagging her best friend or the fact she’s just seen Skerritt’s arse. I know what’s freaking me out more!
1hr 27mins 30secs – It’s all getting a bit confusing. Sara Gilbert is having visions of Cheryl Ladd. She tells her that she loves her, but really it’s Drew Barrymore that she’s saying this to and…
1hr 28mins – …oh, it’s all become a moot point now as Drew Barrymore has just fallen off a balcony and is dead.
1hr 28mins – Erm… that kind of ended abruptly. Is that it?!
Hmm… well, that was watchable, but not particularly great and the ending just kind of happened. Did they run out of budget?
Poison Ivy kind of reminded me of various other (better) early ’90s thrillers, so I can’t say there was anything particularly unique about it. I suppose if you’ve never seen any other thriller before or you fantasise about Tom Skerritt’s arse then it’s OK, but other than that there’s not much going on.
*Googles Poison Ivy*
*Googles Poison Ivy again – the first search focused on the Batman villain*
*Googles Poison Ivy once more – the second search focused on ways to get rid of rashes caused by poison ivy*
According to Wikipedia, Poison Ivy has spawned three sequels! Barrymore isn’t in any of the other films, so I presume she doesn’t come back as a zombie in the follow-ups. Shame, a zombie Drew Barrymore movie sounds like something I can get on board.
For past entries in the 90 from the ’90s series, check out: Body of Evidence (1993), Turbulence (1997), Fatal Instinct (1993), True Romance (1993), Newsies (1992), Contact (1997), The Pelican Brief (1993), Natural Born Killers (1994), Shakespeare in Love (1998), A Perfect Murder (1998), Quigley Down Under (1990), Of Mice and Men (1992), Friday (1995), Mannequin on the Move (1991), She’s All That (1999), Double Dragon (1994), Stay Tuned (1992), Murder at 1600 (1997), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), My Own Private Idaho (1991), Wagons East (1994), In the Line of Fire (1993), Postcards from the Edge (1990), Universal Soldier (1992), Passenger 57 (1992), Mo’ Better Blues (1990), The Client (1994), Good Will Hunting (1997), Pump Up the Volume (1990), Mr. Nanny (1993), Fargo (1996), Hudson Hawk (1991), So I Married An Axe Murderer (1993) and Timecop (1994).