Welcome to 90 from the ‘90s; the movie-related post in which I watch, discuss and debate a film from the 1990s – a film that I’ve NEVER SEEN. Posting on a semi-regular basis, I aim to work my way through 90 movies that I’ve previously missed/avoided, recording my thoughts along the way.

I’m going to watch good films, bad films, forgotten classics, Oscar winners and everything in between. Some of these films you’ll be surprised I’ve never seen, others you’ll completely understand why I’ve avoided them for 20+ years.

The rules are as follows:

  • The film must be from the 1990s (1990-1999)
  • The film must be a movie I’ve not watched before

Today’s unseen ‘90s movie is…

True Romance (1993)

I know three things about True Romance.

1) True Romance stars Christian Slater.

2) True Romance was written by Quentin Tarantino.

3) Hans Zimmer wrote the music.

Beyond these three things I know nothing else about this movie and I can’t even tell you why. It’s simply one of those films that I never got around to watching during the ’90s and I’ve never really felt the need to watch it since.

*Clicks the play button*

3mins – Christian Slater has just tried to pick up a woman in a bar by telling her he’d screw Elvis and he’d like to take her to watch some kung-fu movies. As chat-up techniques go, this isn’t the best.

3mins 40secs – The opening credits are popping up on screen… Val Kilmer? I didn’t know he was in this. Gary Oldman? Yeah, didn’t know he was in this either.

3mins 50secs – Samuel L. Jackson… Brad Pitt… Christopher Walken… yeah, I had no idea any of these guys were in this movie. I clearly know nothing about True Romance.

6mins 50secs – Patricia Arquette is smoking in a cinema. It’s madness to think that people actually used to smoke in a cinema.

7mins – True story, back in 2002 when Attack of the Clones was released, my mother and I went and caught a screening in our local(ish) cinema. During the screening, a guy on our row lit up a cigarette and started puffing away. Not only was this a social faux pas on his part, it was also totally unacceptable in 2002 to be smoking in a cinema. Of course, with us both being Brits we did what all good Brits would do in a situation like this, we said nothing but glared at him disapprovingly. OK, so he probably couldn’t see us (it was pretty dark in that cinema), but we like to think he could sense our icy stares. It probably causes him to wake up at night in a cold sweat.

7mins 10secs – Never underestimate the power of a disapproving glare.

11mins – Christian Slater works in a comic book store. This is someone I can connect with. Except the whole kung-fu movies thing. Yeah, I don’t get that.

16mins – So, Patricia Arquette is a call girl and she was paid to sleep with Christian Slater, because apparently Christian Slater can’t get laid…

16mins 5secs – Yeah, right.

20mins – Oh! Gary Oldman has just killed Samuel L. Jackson. Ah, hell no. I didn’t expect that.

22mins – Christian Slater is getting visions of Elvis. Well, I say Elvis, but if truth be told I can’t see his face so it could be anyone. He could be having a vision of Welsh rock ‘n’ roll singer, Shakin’ Stevens for all I know.

30mins – Gary Oldman has just kicked Christian Slater’s ass. Someone should have warned him what happened to Samuel L. Jackson.

31mins 30secs – Oh. Christian Slater has just turned the tables on Oldman, by shooting him in the… er… ‘special’ area. That’s not a place you want to be shot.

35mins – Dennis Hopper has just turned up (as Christian Slater’s dad) and he isn’t playing a psycho. This movie is just full of surprises.

47mins 30secs – It’s OK, Christopher Walken has just turned up and he is playing a psycho. Normality resumes.

53mins – A side note: The dialogue in this movie is great. Pure Tarantino.

57mins 40secs – Oh and now Dennis Hopper is dead.

1hr 9mins – Christian Slater seems to have become a pretty confident drug dealer. Yeah… once again, still not buying the idea that he couldn’t get laid.

1hr 23mins – Well, things have just got pretty intense. Patricia Arquette has just killed James Gandolfini (yeah, he’s in this movie too), by putting shampoo in his eyes, using hairspray to set fire to him, hitting him with a toilet and shooting him. I’d say it was the bullets that finished him off, but that shampoo in the eyes must have stung like hell.

1hr 46mins 30secs – Elvis has turned up again. Or possibly Shakin’ Stevens.

1hr 50mins – The film is starting to wrap up, which means its time for a big shoot out. Lots of bullets, loads of death – a grand finale. It’s all a bit bonkers, yet it’s great at the same time.

1hr 53mins – Yeah, pretty much no one is getting out of this film alive, including Christian Slater! Bet he wishes he didn’t get laid now. Virgins always survive this kind of thing.

1hr 54mins – He’s not dead! Christian Slater is not dead! He survived being shot in the eye!

1hr 55mins – Ah, a kind of happy ending. Christian Slater lives; he and Patricia Arquette have a kid (called Elvis); and most important of all Christian Slater is sporting an eye-patch! Awesome!

1hr 56mins – Where the heck was Val Kilmer in this movie?

*Looks it up*

He was Elvis! Oh…

*Clicks stop*

Well, that was good.

I don’t believe True Romance was a big hit at the cinema, mostly because people didn’t go to see it, however, I can see why the film is now regarded as a cult favourite. True Romance looks great, features snappy dialogue, cool music, big star names and is pretty quirky. Plus, Christian Slater sports and eye-patch. What’s not to love?

Good stuff – glad I watched this one. 🙂

For past entries in the 90 from the ’90s series, check out: Newsies (1992)Contact (1997)The Pelican Brief (1993)Natural Born Killers (1994)Shakespeare in Love (1998)A Perfect Murder (1998)Quigley Down Under (1990)Of Mice and Men (1992), Friday (1995)Mannequin on the Move (1991)She’s All That (1999)Double Dragon (1994)Stay Tuned (1992)Murder at 1600 (1997), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993)My Own Private Idaho (1991)Wagons East (1994)In the Line of Fire (1993)Postcards from the Edge (1990)Universal Soldier (1992)Passenger 57 (1992)Mo’ Better Blues (1990)The Client (1994)Good Will Hunting (1997)Pump Up the Volume (1990)Mr. Nanny (1993) Fargo (1996)Hudson Hawk (1991)So I Married An Axe Murderer (1993) and Timecop (1994).