Welcome to 90 from the ‘90s; the movie-related post in which I watch, discuss and debate a film from the 1990s – a film that I’ve NEVER SEEN. Posting on a semi-regular basis, I aim to work my way through 90 movies that I’ve previously missed/avoided, recording my thoughts along the way.

I’m going to watch good films, bad films, forgotten classics, Oscar winners and everything in between. Some of these films you’ll be surprised I’ve never seen, others you’ll completely understand why I’ve avoided them for 20+ years.

The rules are as follows:

  • The film must be from the 1990s (1990-1999)
  • The film must be a movie I’ve not watched before

Today’s unseen ‘90s movie is…

Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993)

So, to recap (for those who are a little behind), last time on 90 from the ’90s, I watched the heartfelt and heartbreaking, coming-of-age tale, My Own Private Idaho (1991). Today, I’m watching Weekend at Bernie’s II.

I have a feeling these two movies are going to be polar opposites.

Of course, I could be wrong.

Clearly I’ve never watched Weekend at Bernie’s II, otherwise this entry would be pretty pointless. I have, however, seen the original – Weekend at Bernie’s (1989).

For those who have never seen Weekend at Bernie’s, the premise is simple: Two insurance salesmen pretend their recently deceased boss is still alive, in order to benefit from his fortune. They do this by propping up his corpse and making people think that he’s very much the life and soul of the party… even though he’s long since departed this mortal coil.

I know NOTHING about this sequel – in fact, I didn’t even know it existed until a few years ago. My biggest question is how the heck this movie is going to drag out the dead-man-is-alive premise for another movie?

I guess I’m about to find out.

*Clicks the play button*

3mins – After a lengthy, animated sequence (to sort of recap what happened in the original movie), Weekend at Bernie’s II opens with Bernie Lomax (the corpse from the previous movie) still dead. Yep, still dead.

8mins 30secs – Oh….so now voodoo is being introduced into the story. Please tell me that this film is going to include a zombie Bernie? If Weekend at Bernie’s II doesn’t turn into a George A. Romero movie I will be very disappointed. Night of the Living Bernie, anyone?

18mins 30secs – The Bernie revival begins. Or at least I think it does. Currently his corpse is dancing, unaided. Is this going to be the new angle?

19mins 30secs – And he’s back to being a stiff again.

20mins 30secs – So, it would seem that music is the key to Bernie’s resurrection. Nondescript, license-free music. While the music plays, Bernie is able to move about. I… I… there are no words.

22mins – The two main characters in this movie, played by Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman, are still trying to benefit from Bernie’s death, by utilising his fortune where possible.

27mins – I know this is a stupid question, in a movie where a corpse has just started to dance, but why is Bernie in such good condition? Surely after all the hijinks of the first movie he would be in a bad state by now? Missing an arm or some teeth? Seriously, he looks better than I do!

30mins – Bernie has been stuffed into a suitcase and…

30mins 5secs – …and I have nothing. Bernie is in a suitcase. That is all.

30mins 10secs – Terry Kiser – the actor who plays Bernie – must have been itching to sign on the dotted line for this movie. He doesn’t need to do anything, yet he collects a pay cheque at the end.

33mins 30secs – Bernie is now in a fridge. I’m not making this up. He’s now in a fridge.

40mins – And now he’s out of the fridge and he’s dancing! The power of music is just too infectious! Zombie Bernie… correction… ZomBernie is throwing some shapes and loving the afterlife.

45mins – I’m 45 minutes into Weekend at Bernie’s II and while I don’t want to push my head through a wall (not yet anyway), I can’t say this movie has any redeemable features. The premise of the original is pretty much being repeated and there are simply no jokes in this ‘comedy’. No jokes at all.

49mins – Jonathan Silverman (to Andrew McCarthy): “This is not funny.” Couldn’t have put it better myself, Jonathan.

*Clicks pause*

I’m going on a toilet break. I kind of hope I fall in. If I’m not back in two minutes, presume I’ve stuck my head down the toilet.

*Takes the movie off pause*

52mins – Jonathan Silverman and Andrew McCarthy are dragging a corpse across the floor. This scene here is pretty much a metaphor for Weekend at Bernie’s II.

*Puts movie back on pause*

Sigh…

*Takes movie back off pause*

1hr – Remember that moment, around the 45 minute mark, when I said I didn’t want to push my head through a wall? Well, I think I’ve changed my mind. And it’s not just my head. I’m thinking about throwing my whole body through a wall too!

1hr 5mins – Bernie is still wandering around….

1hr 6mins – …and now he’s being dragged along by a boat…

1hr 7mins – …and now he’s being mauled by a shark…

1hr 12mins – …and now Bernie is dancing underwater. *cough* This movie has sunk to a new low. *cough*

1hr 21mins – I presume there’s not a Weekend at Bernie’s III. Or is there? Surely, even voodoo couldn’t revive this series for another entry?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!

1hr 23mins – Oh, for anyone who actually cares about the plot of this movie, Jonathan Silverman and Andrew McCarthy have somehow come out of this whole escapade pretty well (and rich-ish) and Bernie is still dancing. Ugh.

*Clicks stop*

What a pile of crap.

Not crap in a ‘yeah, it’s crap but it’s still kind of fun’; just crap. Pure crap.

How anyone managed to convince the studio to sign off on Weekend at Bernie’s is beyond me. How they managed to convince them to agree to a sequel is just baffling.

16 down; 74 to go.

For past entries in the 90 from the ’90s series, check out: My Own Private Idaho (1991)Waggons East (1994)In the Line of Fire (1993)Postcards from the Edge (1990)Universal Soldier (1992)Passenger 57 (1992)Mo’ Better Blues (1990)The Client (1994)Good Will Hunting (1997)Pump Up the Volume (1990)Mr. Nanny (1993) Fargo (1996)Hudson Hawk (1991)So I Married An Axe Murderer (1993) and Timecop (1994).